Knit the Worlds Biggest Jumper

Thinking up new presents to buy for your friends & family each year can be a traumatic exercise. As Christmas races towards us like a high speed train many of us, like an innocent young woman chained to the tracks, are helpless to save ourselves and when our cliché hero comes galloping to our rescue we are only too happy to leap into his baggy and oversized arms because, in this case, our bold rescuer is the Christmas woolly jumper.

In order to commemorate both the woolly jumper’s place in Christmas lore and the incredibly artificial and forced use of the speeding train simile above, I suggest that a project is undertaken to knit the world’s largest ever woolly jumper. A giant loom would also have to be constructed and the worlds biggest ever ball of wool would have to be assembled. A railway handcart travelling back and forth on a section of moveable track should be used as the shuttle.

That’s it really.