h a l f b a k e r yThe best idea since raw toast.
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A soft padded ring which slips over and encircles your face. Use when kissing someone who has much bigger lips/mouth than yours, eliminating the risk of your face being swallowed.
(?) Sir Walter Raleigh
http://www.geocitie...9194/raleighmin.jpg
Kissed the wrong lady [thumbwax, Oct 06 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]
to make perfect kisses with a horse
http://www.halfbake...om/idea/mucus_20vac
[rabbit, Oct 08 2002]
(?) Aw, man!
http://www.peculiar.../gurning%20face.jpg
Should have brought my kissing ring! [DrCurry, Oct 08 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]
(?) It's not hippo, it's rhino
http://www.national...ts/assets/rhino.jpg
Yes, those are panties [thumbwax, Oct 10 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]
[link]
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Presumably you'll sign up Mick Jagger for the ad campaign? |
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It's good the penile ring has been invented. |
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These were popular in Elizabethan times. Didn't save Walter Raleigh's face though, which left him when his head did. |
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My mama taught me, if you don't want to kiss, light up a cigarette.
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If I pull up my trouser pockets, it looks like a pair of rabbit ears. I said nothing about a carrot. |
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I dunno. Has *anyone* ever actually had this problem? |
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Just how much bigger we looking at [Helium], and whatcha doing kissing that hippo anyway? |
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[bliss] Hippo lips tend to be a tad leathery - which is why I prefer the gentle, quivering lips a horse. The blowing of warm breath down the neck, the inquisitive nosing in my hair, nothing beats a full, sensual pair of horse lips. Slimey green gooblies across my shoulder really are a small price to pay. |
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I worry that this idea was inspired by a true-to-life experience. |
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you have told us nothing - as per usual - you Helium person. tell all now. |
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Woops...I did the old "delete it before anyone sees it but po was too quick" thing. |
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Place wheelrim on head 'clang' repeat,'clang',repeat. |
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{I was hoping for: a "Dune" style shield that pops into place when your too-much-perfume aunt tries to kiss you.} |
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po: Helium's all but said that it was/is a horse whose kiss she desires, but for the fear of being swallowed. Helium, don't worry, a horse cannot swallow you. It cannot even swallow an itty bitty bunny rabbit like me. Horses are vegetarians. However, when a horse bites, it can take out a big chunk. For that reason, I would think very carefully before engaging in mouth-to-mouth activity with a horse.
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//po: Helium's all but said that it was/is a horse whose kiss she desires// |
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//Horses are vegetarians// |
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Tell that to the horse I had that ate BBQed sausages. |
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That is one kinky horse, is all I can say. I hope it's not the one you're dreaming of.
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I suppose one good thing about kissing men is that they don't snort snot all over you at random. |
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I think all you need is one of those mucus-vacs (see link) size superlarge. Apply to your sweety, prior to kissing. Or you could try me ...... >!!<
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I think that'd be a fewony, wittwe wabbit. |
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How so? Is it a felony to kiss a rabbit?
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(Waugsqueke) From memory, the Dune shield exhibited custard-like tendencies, in that it deflected fast moving objects but was penetrated by slow moving ones. Hence it would be ineffective against the slow eyes-closed-lips-extended advance of a perfumed aunt. If instead Helium's device can be whipped into place at the last second, it would maybe serve as an adequate defence. Croissant. |
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Ah, this explains everything!. For years women have been telling me to put a bag over my head. Now I know why. |
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Tip: If you crinkle the bag up, it makes you look older |
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The double blind, paper bag theory of dating? |
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It's all the rage down our way, bliss. |
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thats the second time today that I have looked for that little emoticon - you know the one with the grinning face and the hand over the mouth. |
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Last time I kissed a rabbit it peed on me. |
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You're not having much luck with animals, are you? |
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Rabbits' hairy lips make them less desirable kissers, although still more desirable than John Oates. I prefer hamsters or voles. |
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Ummm, I personally believe that a head-in-mouth, uvula-to-the-lips kiss is the best kind. And the rarest, methinks, as only a few splendid individuals are blessed with the gift of head-swallowing. |
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I am having a difficult time picturing the mechanics of this device. Would it be like a jumbo-sized Elizabethan collar type thing to stop your partner's lips from moving over your hairline? |
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Which makes me wonder if a similar device might not be employed for victims of hoof-in-mouth disease. |
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Rabbits lips are no more hairy than those of hamsters or voles! Don't you dare slander rabbits!! Would you kiss a hamster? Bleccch. Rabbits have both personality and sweet soft mouths. Our downy fur enhances our appeal. |
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<licks lips and thinks of bunny burgers..> |
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It's small game season here, too. <blam! blam!> |
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[THUMB] Oh my god. eeewwwwwwwwwwwww |
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