Karaoke Tooth

Christmas, apparently, is on its way. Inevitably, there will be office parties and - horror of horror - many of these will feature karaoke. What to do if you are a truly terrible singer? How can you possibly salvage your dignity and reputation?

Have no fear, tone-deaf office party attendees, for MaxCo. has come to the rescue with the Karaoke Tooth.

The Karaoke Tooth is a small, battery-powered, wirelessly- charged Bluetooth (hah!) speaker which can replace any of your existing molars. It is paired with the Karaoke Tooth Pairing Device (henceforth known as the KTPD), which can nestle discreetly in your pocket.

The KTPD comes pre-loaded with a wide repertoire of vocal tracks. These tracks have been recorded by the finest vocal impersonators of our time, but in each case they have been made to sing whilst their jaws are braced wide open. The result is a series of pitch-perfect, perfectly emoted vowels. "My Way", for example, begins with "ee eh, I ah a oo, u eh a-eh, oo oo oo e-uh.

When called upon to perform, simply activate your Karaoke Tooth and be sure to select the right song from the playlist. All you then need to do is to mouth the lyrics, thereby adding the necessary consonantal overtones, as the tonal richness of Frank Sinatra, Elvis or even Mariah Carey emanates from your very own mouth.