h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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Court room drama similar in flow as Judge Judy, however Old Testament laws apply to the guilty.
People who appear on the show are dressed in flowing robes and sandals, and the set features Golgotha in all its polystyrene glory.
A segment at the end of the program documents the punishments that
Judge Judas hands out to the participants, from being thrown to the lions, eyes pecked out by crows, through to stoning and of course crucifixion.
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I'm certain that being thrown to the lions and crucifixions were NOT in the Hebrew Scriptures. They were later developments and only from the Roman influence on the Hebrews. Further, I don't think the Hebrews adopted those as forms of punishment at all. However, this would be more interesting if it were called "King Solomon's Court" and I can see some fundamentalist TV station hosting it....with all the litigants in agreement to follow the outcome. (of course, stoning would have to by symbolic with either "sponge rocks" or ....ah....custard pies). |
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I think the Golgothan from Dogma should have a part in this. Perhaps as one of the punishments? |
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Don't forget about the wailing and gnashing of teeth |
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Lord, bless these gifts we are about to receive. |
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Only men would be allowed to watch the show though... (and women in fake beards... "are there any women watching...?" "No, no, no") |
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"The Court finds in favor of the plaintiff. The defendant will hereby pay the plaintiff five loaves and five fishes, anoint his feet with oil, and dry them with the defendant's own hair." |
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