Joustpipe

Halfpipes. Skateboaders love 'em. Imagine a capital letter "O", chop it off halfways up, and build it on a grand scale out of plywood. You've now got skater heaven, and a recipe for terminally grazed knees, in my limited (yet painful) experience.

But, truth is - watching people skating on a halfpipe is kind of boring. A little like watching tennis, but with a bit more up and down action at the extremities. I'm sure it takes a lot of skill to do, but it sure can be dull to watch.

So here's what I'm proposing: a skatejoust. Make the half-pipe a bit wider, and make the skaters wear more padding. Suspended from the ceiling above the ramp are various weapons, all non-lethal, which can be grabbed by the enterprising skateboarder. Lances with boxing gloves on the end, those giant padded Q-tip-type things that they used to use on Gladiators, foamy nunchuks, et cetera. The more useful the weapon, the higher from the half-pipe it is placed. The most devestating weapons (and I have to admit I'm not sure how this would be done) are suspended in such a way that it's only possible to grab them if you're upside down, or using both hands, or in some other orientation which would ensure that the skateboardee has to pull off a particularly impressive move to get at them.

Already a new element of strategy enters the sport. Do you concentrate on building up momentum in order to snatch the lofty bean-bag gun, bearing in mind you'll have to avoid your opponent (who's just hastily grabbed the lowest echelon polystyrene truncheon) while doing so; or do you just tear the mid-height rubber mace from its velcro moorings and prepare for a more messy, low-down and dirty blow-trading scrap instead?

Obviously, the first to fall over loses, but extra points are awarded for artistic merit and/or chivalrous conduct. Milady.

Would also work with rollerblades and BMXs. Preferably all at the same time.