Job Security

In spite of the fact that most countries have some legal limitation on individuals forming their own armies/police forces, corporations and companies are still allowed to form their own Security departments.

On the whole these ‘forces’ appear to be made up of people who cannot get any other work and would have difficulty catching a one legged runner. However their main function is revealed in time of belt tightening, when they are used to threaten just made ex employees to ‘leave the building now’ before they can clear their desks/PC’s of personal belongings.

With the use of ‘Job Security’ this is solved. Simply hire the meanest looking guy in your street (or another street if you live in a posh area) to act as a minder for you at work. That way you can be free to get on with your work without stupid interruptions from the management.

(Escalation in this job arms war then leads to the requirement for ‘Job Security Guns’, Job Security Tanks’ and ‘Job Security A-Bombs) Probably better to go quietly when asked the first time.