h a l f b a k e r yLike a magnifying lens, only with rocks.
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Problem: Let’s presume that you have an annoying little jellydoughnut in your midst. Let’s say a co-worker has brought in a dozen doughnuts but all the other worker-bees get to the box first. All that remains is one lonely jellydoughnut. What could you do to rid yourself of the annoying jelly that comes
from inside the doughnut?
Solution: The Jellydoughnut Extractor
How it works: Place the doughnut in the round metallic device. Clamp down the doughnut. Push the ten sliding needles into the doughnut until it the tip of the needle hits the vein of jelly. Push the “extract” button. Powerful pumps suck the sugary but useless jelly from within. What remains is no longer a jellydoughnut but just a clean and simple (and delicious) doughnut.
[link]
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you could make a hole in each end and blast the offending jelly out by replacing it with something you like better because my worry (well, its pretty low down on my list of worries actually) is that you won't get it all out which would be a problem if you hate the stuff so much. |
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Burn. Wait, was this meant to be a burn? Sounds like a very subtle burn. |
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But don't throw all the jelly away... think what you can do with it. For example, put jellydoughnut jelly in someone's cinnamon doughnut while they're not looking, then watch the reaction as they take a big bite and splatter it all over their face! |
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Thanks for the category suggestions. After some contemplation I chose Po's suggestion. |
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I think the best way of dealing with the doughnut you describe is to ignore it. |
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there's just the autoboner's ... |
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Personally I'm in the line of thinking that this is a load of bollocks. Fair enough, if it was a genuine idea, but this is just a barely disguised dig at another baker. If I could think of a fitting category, I'd be very tempted to MFD this. |
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If the references to [jellydoughnut] weren't here, you'd have probably garnered my bun. As it is, I just don't like this. |
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What [hidden truths] said. Personal attacks veiled or not aren't appreciated. |
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Yes, [UB], but [jd] seems to be doing most of the rowing lately. |
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I say you find the small opening in the doughnut where the jelly went in, aim it towards the cow-orker that took the last crueller, and slam your fist down on the top of the same said doughnut. |
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"Who took the jam out 'a your doughnut
Turkish?" |
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"YOU did, Tommy. YOU took the jam
out of my doughnut." |
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How do you ork a cow, anyway? |
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Endorsed by Jellydoughnut his/herself. Take that bone-rs. |
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I only voted for it because it was put up before I deleted all my crap (quarter-baked) inventions. |
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I'd like to think that jellydoughnut's are like fine wine. |
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They get better as they mature (I hope) |
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Unless they're not properly corked, in which case they will start tasting like vineagar. |
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