Jeerleading

Is all that extra pep at school sporting events getting to be just too much after a while? Perhaps it's time to change things up a bit?

Introducing the latest innovation in school sports...jeerleading!--where specially-trained squads of "jeerleaders" perform clever routines at school sporting events for the sole purpose of taunting, mocking, and generally discouraging teams and their individual players. You see, these special jeerleading squads would perform a crucial supporting role for school sports teams: to instill mental toughness in their players.

While coaching, skill-building and other positive means of boosting morale are an absolutely necessary ingredient of a team's success and--I would argue--should most definitely stay in place, jeerleading would add balance to the team experience by ensuring that only those teams and players which can withstand criticism and insults to their morale would prevail.

Learning to withstand the sneers, jeers, and leers of others would endow players with an unshakable confidence in their own abilities in the face of those who attempt to tear them down, creating a team with rock-solid perseverance and resolve.

So, jeerleading would allow those with natural talents for cleverness, creativity and discouraging others (often seen as an unfavorable combination of traits) to channel their creative gifts for an entirely constructive purpose: to help build a team that will thrive against all odds and ensure survival of the fittest. Plus, face it--this novel form of sanctioned jeering would certainly make for quite the entertaining spectator sport! So everybody wins! (Unless of course you're the opposing team that elects not to employ jeerleaders, in which case clearly you lose.)