h a l f b a k e r y"Bun is such a sad word, is it not?" -- Watt, "Waiting for Godot"
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The habit of diving to win a free kick or a penalty is rife
in
European football (soccer). Theatrics are becoming
almost
part and parcel of the modern game.
However, no team wins more free kicks than Jackie
Chan
Stunt Team FC.
You'd need a pretty hard referee to deny the appeals of
a
man who was so blatantly fouled, he did a double cork
screw and landed on his spine. And it makes cheating, at
the very least, fun to watch.
Far off into the future, due to the legacy of JCST FC,
referees will only give a penalty to a player if his fall
was
particularly heinous (and incorporated enough spins).
This
would either return football to its status as a proper
man's
game, or result in increasingly elaborate falls – either
way
the spectator wins.
See [linky] for an example.
A couple of corkscrew falls
http://www.dailymot...rew-fall_shortfilms
Imagine Suarez doing this on the edge of the penalty box. [theleopard, Oct 08 2012]
Shaolin Soccer
http://www.amazon.c...d=1349709606&sr=8-1
The finest film about football ever made. [DrBob, Oct 08 2012]
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Annotation:
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Ideally, you need to find a way to inveigle as many PANES OF GLASS into the football field in order for people to play the "if your face breaks the glasss, you lose" game from Police Story. |
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So, about ten pairs of men at the sidelines, each pair holding between them a pane of glass 10 feet long and six feet high. Each pair of men run in tandem holding the respective ends of their pane of glass, across the field. When they get to the other side they count to 10 and then run back the other way. |
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As a derivative, perhaps we would also need to add brick
walls with narrow gaps and holes that prevent the players
from running in a straight line, sort of Parkourball, or
FreeRunningBall. |
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All the odd angles and dangerous corners would make
genuine injuries a lot more interesting to watch. I
imagine this would require more players to keep the
game going. |
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Piles of empty cardboard boxes, racks of
garments, fruit stands, hot dog carts … |
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Oooh, I like that... These could be placed all around
the pitch, so the acrobatic players could appear to
be hurled through them at awkward angles. |
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