Iron Tea Kettle

“So there I was standing in my underwear, ironing my shirt and pants and watching the morning news. There was room on the ironing board for a boiled egg, toast and a teacup. … No, I’m not going to say I heard the phone ring and answered by putting the iron to my ear, and then to call an ambulance, I took the iron in my other hand and placed it to my other ear. That’s an old joke.

No, this iron is special – it’s a steam iron with two water reservoirs. I also mounted a screw lid on the top tank. … That’s for popping in a couple of teabags when the light indicates that the water is boiling. So, you can steam iron your clothes and brew your tea at the same time without leaving the spot – pretty neat, huh?

Anyway, I was standing there in a bit of a hurry with toast in my mouth, putting the finishing touches on my collar and pushing the button on the iron's handle to fill my cup with a squirt, and on the TV there was a guy talking with a parrot on his shoulder, except the guy was a dummy and the parrot was a ventriloquist! I was so engrossed in the report that I squirted when I should have steamed. … Yeah, you guessed it – another tea shirt.”