h a l f b a k e r yQuis custodiet the custard?
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The IRS consists of a series of 800m-tall flexible fibreglass
poles spaced at 400m intervals across the country. On top of
each pole is a platform and a small man with a good sense of
rhythm and a head for heights.
The small men on every other platform set their poles swinging
to and fro.
The small men on the intervening platforms set
their poles swinging fro and to. Once the oscillations are of
the correct amplitude and phase, goods or passengers can be
passed from platform to platform as they approach each other
on each swing.
Intersections between two lines of poles can be managed by
having the junctional pole swing circularly rather than to and
fro.
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Annotation:
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If you set up a line of these devices from one end of the Greenwich Meridian to the other, you could travel from Pole to Pole ... |
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quick calculation on the Gs experienced? Is this a steady
powered swing of some sort, or a springing action? |
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The G's will be quite modest. The power is provided by the
small men, performing a sort of inverted-swing movement.
They might need a little assistance to get the swing started. |
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ok -- so this is like one of those multiple circus swings thing,
when they hand the acrobat (or he moves himself) from
swing to swing. |
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Precisely so, except that the pole-top men remain on their
platforms, passing parcels to eachother. Passenger transport
is possible, but we've had problems getting the insurance for
it. |
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I see nothing wrong with this. |
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// we've had problems getting the insurance for it // |
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... but not half as bad as the problems of getting repeat customers. |
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Wouldn't the plus-sized passenger, climbing unsteadily up the
pole, turn the small man's rhythmic oscillation into an
unpredictable three-dimensional wobble? |
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We eschew pole-climbing. Instead, an on-ramp is provided;
the passenger just waits at the top until the pole comes to
them, then steps deftly onto the platform. And the reverse at
the other end. |
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Seasickness will inevitably mean that people living underneath the path of the poles' movement will regularly get spattered with vomit, but this is a small price to pay for what is clearly a superior solution to the nation's transportation requirements. |
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You could sell this to Amazon once their FedEx contract
expires. [+] |
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// Seasickness// We've thought of that. The platform
managers (they insisted on being called "managers") will all be
former trapeze artists, and will stand on their heads.
Gravitationally speaking, the platform system is essentially a
system of inverted trapezes. |
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The Arc of the Conveyant. |
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