h a l f b a k e r yReplace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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Acinonyx Jubatus on the mark
African sprinter Acinonyx Jubatus says, “Records are there to be broken,” as she readies for the 200 meter final on Sunday. Her personal best is 6.42 seconds, fastest of the starting pride.
Anser Caerulescens: I will regain world record
Olympic triathlon
champion Anser Caerulescens has vowed to regain the world Ironbeast record by waddling, paddling and flying the five-mile course in under 2 hours 16 minutes. The Canadian’s one-year-old mark was eclipsed in Paris yesterday by Anas Platyrhynchos.
Istiophorus cruises to victory
Istiophorus Platypterus took an easy gold in the 100-meter freestyle swim with a time of only 3.749 seconds. The eight-foot Brazilian was clearly pleased with her victory at the Seattle Saltwater Championships.
Nike backs Macropus
Macropus Rufus, the Australian triple jump phenomenon, disclosed details of the sponsor contract today. The 300-pound boomer, who has jumped a record 133 ft, tried on half-yard long shoes with red swooshes that match his hair.
Glossary of animal names
http://www.lucockers.com/diernamen.html
[FarmerJohn, Oct 24 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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I wonder whether Homo Sapiens would take home any medals at all. |
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They'd have to hold a "Special Olympics" for us... |
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Nah, we can just stick to javelin and the rifle range. And I don't think anything else out there could manage the triathlon. |
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We'd probably clean up at team sports like basketball. Unless we were playing against hungry, man-eating animals. |
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//I don't think anything else out there could manage the triathlon// |
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I think Pan Troglodytes, with the aid of some well-masked anabolic steroids, could give you a *lot* of trouble. And finish before you. And then probably throw a javelin into the next stadium. And the officials after it. I'd watch, if only to see his broad, yellow-toothed grin as he slouched on the podium. |
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<pedant> It's "Acinonyx jubatus", "Homo
sapiens" etc. The genus name is
capitalized, the specific name isn't (unless
it happens to be directly derived from a
name, like "Darwinii"). Normally, the name
should also be italicised (it's Latin after
all), but this can be overlooked. <pedant> |
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