h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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...and all without saying a word.
You can picture the scene. It's a Friday or
Saturday night, the bar is three deep and
you can hardly make yourself heard.
"I'll have a pint of guinness."
"Do you want ice in that?"
"No. GUINNESS!"
"Down the hall first on the left."
[Points
at tap.]
"Oh. Guinness."
If we developed a simple sign language
for
different generic drinks then, working
with
drinks manufacturers to get them on
board, specific brands, you could walk
into
a noisy bar and, clearly enunciating with
your fingers, accurately order the
beverage
of your choice.
More you the point, you could do it quite
stylishly. In a quiet bar you could show
your Pub Sign Language prowess (and
multi-tasking ability) by
chatting to the barman about the game
while ordering your drinks.
Tic-tac
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tic_tac something similar? [po, Jan 12 2006]
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Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)
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Sticks two fingers in the air at barman. |
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Promptly gets removed from pub by doormen. |
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Oh yes, the world needs this. |
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Of course it would have to cover bar snacks as well - imagine the carnage if there was confusion between a packet of Scampi Fries and a packet of dry-roasted peanuts. |
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I ordered a Harvey Wall banger.
Not a Slow Screw against the Wall.
The signs are so simular! |
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A girl walks into a bar and asks the bar man for a double entendre. So he gives her one. (+) |
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It is often my misfortune that the music
stops and things get quiet whem I am
ordering a slow comfortable screw.
bun. |
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Isn't the two-fingers-down-the-throat gesture already the international sign language for "I'll have a jug of the cheapest lager on the premises please"? |
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Didn't a Baileys ad try this with a woman in a tight dress fondling herself? |
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I've done this regularly using hand signals for letters: two fingers + both hands together at wrist pointing up and out (in a 'V') + one hand with fingers together, cupped with an opposable thumb (in a 'c' shape) follwed by a horizontal stroke and then a clenched fist. |
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Double vodka and coke, no ice. |
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Effective - but not as good as the Baileys ad. |
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"Oh, you want that shaken, not stirred". |
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They did this in a Rolling Rock commercial. As a bartender I still have to give it a +, because I can't hear a damn thing people say half the time. |
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As an added bonus you would have to know what you want before I ask you. Nothing is worse than a customer staring you down with impatient looks, and then when you finally ask them what they would like, they have to think about it- as if they had nothing else to do in the two minutes they stood waiting for you. (Customer: "Uhhhhh..... What *do* I want.... huh...... What do you make good???..... Ummm...I guess I want something sweet but not to sweet.... No, not that, I don't really like shots.... Uhhhh..." |
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As long as there will be no symbol for Frozen drinks, I'm gonna try to bake this at my bar. |
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Why not incorporate pictures of the hand
symbols into the bar decor? Beer and
liquor makers already distribute
promotional signage to their vendors. The
patrons could practice together before
ordering, a great ice breaker. It could
even be expanded to a theme concept for
a pub with names like "The Silent Server"
or "Deaf Drafts." I'm holding up four
fingers and I want a Fosters! |
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Post some photos would you [Pac-man]? |
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Yes I will. I'm gonna ask the person who actually wants the drink to come up with the sign. This won't be an easy task, because the bar I work at is at a resort, so I see my "regulars" only 4 or 5 times (at the most) per year. Still though I will post some picture of my patrons with drink in one hand and bar sign in the other. Maybe we will get this ball rolling. |
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I agree with DVineMissEva because I have been embarassed MANY times trying to order something embarassing right when the room gets quiet. "Yes waiter, make it a light beer because guiness MAKES ME FART REALLY BAD" and then the next thing I know everyone is looking at me. |
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Everybody knows what your talking about
when you place a pinched thumb and
forefinger up against puffed lips and
inhale with your eyes closed. Should bars
in Amsterdam devise another set of hand
signals to order other controlled
substances? |
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