h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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This may well fall foul of the let's-allness rules. However, I don't
see
how any entry in this category can fail to be a "let's all".
So.
I would like to designate the first Friday the 13th of every year as
International Dangerous Day.
On this day, people will break through barriers to
walk across
dust-
generating ceramic sunflower seeds. They will use electric drills
without wearing safety glasses. They will add salt to their food.
They will cross roads using nothing but their own judgement,
regardless of the colour of the cross lights. They will apply varnish
in areas that are not well ventilated. They will tow cars using a
rope. They will exceed the
recommended dose of aspirin. They will use their mobile phones
on
petrol station forecourts. They will travel on escalators without
holding the moving hand rail. They will play conkers. They will
eat
soft cheeses. They will change lightbulbs without ensuring that
the
supply has been turned off. They will give sparklers to children
under the age of sixteen. They will wire their own plugs. They
will
place heavy items on shelves above eye level. They will expose
aerosol cans to direct sunlight or temperatures of 51°C. They will
willfully
fail to retain packaging for future reference. They will make and
throw paper darts. They will seek out and use old solvent-based
whiteboard markers and mercury thermometers.
The sound of a billion champagne corks being fired, carefree, will
echo across the land, and men will be free.
You'll have to disable your alarms
The_20_22Boy_20From...22_20Safety_20Alarm
[infidel, Oct 15 2010]
Office Safety Tips
http://www.buzzle.c...-the-workplace.html
Suspended for IDD [Boomershine, Oct 16 2010]
[link]
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Not to worry about the MFD. This is more of a "let's
don't all," really. |
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Another Bastard Child of Necessity is born! |
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(Will hospital emergency rooms be open on this
holiday?) |
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It's not actually a holiday. In fact, it is intended largely to be
celebrated in the workplace. Remember, you can fire some
of your employees for failing to place warning signs on the
floor where a cup of water has been spilled all of the time,
and you can fire all of your employees for failing to place
warning signs on the floor where a cup of water has been
spilled some of the time, but you can't fire all of your
employees for failing to place warning signs on the floor
where a cup of water has been spilled all of the time. |
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..of course. Then hospitals will be open. I'm thinking
especially for those who enjoy hearing loss from the
champagne corks being fired. |
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Will we get one of these days this year? I'll call in
sick. |
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Hmmm. I have the overwhelming urge to run with scissors... |
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Can this be a day where we all storm the padded offices of the Department of Health & Safety and beat the occupants to death with pillows and beanbags, just for fun? |
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I could get behind this, especially if, after decorking the champagne, one was encouraged to offer free drinks to any pregnant women in the vicinity. [+] |
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//Hmmm. I have the overwhelming urge to run with
scissors...// |
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Check the calendar, [Grog]. |
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//free drinks to any pregnant women in the vicinity.
// |
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[Max] couldn't cover everything in his description. I'm
sure he meant, "etc." |
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//decorking the champagne, one was encouraged to offer
free drinks to any pregnant women in the vicinity.// |
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I think a red would go better with the soft cheeses, but sure. |
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This is a *terrible* idea. A catalog of really *boring* forms of
risky behavior. (Except for the part about ceramic sunflower
seeds: that sounds like fun.) It takes the idea of devil-may-
care, carpe diem livelifetothefullest and domesticates it.
Like "casual Friday" in the billing department at Consolidated
Widgets. I smell irony. |
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//A catalog of really *boring* forms of risky
behavior.// |
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Apparently, [Mr Crazy Fun Hater mouseposture] ,
you missed this:
//I have the overwhelming urge to run with
scissors...// |
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*Real* scissors, right [Grog]? |
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International "anything" day... begins list.... walking two steps backwards for every ten forwards; wearing a bowler hat (also known as Magritte day); wearing a moustache - fake if necessary - (male and female); doing a head-stand in a park at mid-day; jumping off the ground so that at one single moment, there are no human feet on the earth's surface; clicking ball pens for an hour..... I have many more. [+] |
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I shall "Protest Against the Rising Tide of Conformity"
by being dangerous whenever I feel like it, rather
than just on the allocated day. |
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//being dangerous whenever I feel like it, rather than just on
the allocated day// |
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An excellent and laudable attitude. However, the bonus of
IDD is that, if everyone breaks some trivial health-and-safety
rule at the same time, very little can be done about it. It's
the same principle that makes cicadas emerge en masse at
the same time - predators are overwhelmed. |
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//*Real* scissors, right [Grog]?// |
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Right, [Boomer], the real McCoy, with the pointy ends. I'm thinking maybe through narrow office corridors with lots of open file cabinet drawers. Just to keep my intensity up, I might have a nice open-top cup of scalding hot coffee in the other hand as I dash through. (Dang, I hope this day falls on "Talk Like a Pirate" day so I can holler "ARRR!!!" every time I hurdle a file cabinet drawer) |
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Crimson Permanent Assurance will cancel your policy, [Grog] |
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//very little can be done about it// I dispute that. What is
ordinarily done about such minor infractions consists of
paperwork and meetings spread out over weeks to months
after the incident. This will simply provide job security for
the Health&Safety bureaucrats the other 364.25 days of the
year. |
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Oh yes + I've just been waiting to use the ladder on an uneven surface!! |
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//This will simply provide job security for the
Health&Safety bureaucrats...// |
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[mouse] Are you perhaps overlooking the fact that H
& S bureaucrats are *employees*? It's a day of revelry
for them, as well. [link] |
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[Boomershine] How does that affect my argument? You
think because they run with scissors one day of the year,
they won't do their jobs the rest of the year? |
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Seriously, you're overlooking an important principle.
Bureaucrats aren't a different species* The stupidity
resides in the organization, not the individuals. This is the
thing which dismays me about large institutions: everyone
knows it's a lie, yet everyone continues going through the
motions. Even the people at the top, who create policy.
The Soviet Union functioned this way for decades. The
only thing that can threaten this is if a true believer gets
past the filters and accidentally rises to a position of
power. (I'm thinking of Gorbachev, of course.) |
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*Exept for the Bureau of Motor Vehicles, of course. Their
brains have been taken over by parasitic worms from Alpha
Eridani. |
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Finally!
<dusts off antique lawn dart set> |
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//How does that affect my argument? You think
because they run with scissors one day of the year,
they won't do their jobs the rest of the year?
// |
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Well, not at all, probably. Your argument, as
usual, is well thought out and well presented. It is
distinguished from the other annos here, as far as I
can tell (and this difference seems to lie at the
heart of many HB arguments) by its degree of
seriousness. |
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It is my perception that nearly all "important
principles" in this idea are being deliberately
overlooked, with an aim toward HB Silliness. |
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[Max] can make his own case perfectly well--as we
all well know--if he wishes to, but this is my
explanation for my own comments. |
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[Max] did name this *International* Dangerous Day.
If we really wanted to get serious about this,
'dangerous' would have a completely different
context in some countries, and not be funny at all. |
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//distinguished ... by its degree of seriousness// How dare
you! I'm *completely* serious about the brain parasites from
Alpha Eridani! |
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// 'dangerous' would have a completely different context in
some countries, and not be funny at all.// |
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International Talk Like a Pirate Day is a bit edgy in Somalia
too. |
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//How dare you! I'm *completely* serious// |
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Um..this was exactly my point. You were (and still
are, even though [Max] has shown up) the *only*
serious one in the room. |
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I have to agree there, [bigsleep], that is one of the worlds great smells... |
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//Sitting over a soldering iron inhaling lead fumes // |
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[bigsleep] You bring tears to my eyes....just like the
old days. |
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//the indelible mark of a future electronics
engineer// |
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Takes a man of real nerve to bomb terrorists. |
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Perhaps he's referring to the officer responsible for dropping
terrorists, parachuteless, out of airplanes. I believe
Argentina used to do
that with individuals deemed a threat to social order. |
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That's terrible! What if they landed on someone? |
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Alright, who ARE you two people, and what have you
done with [Max] and [mouse]?!? (Your phony "nice
guy" accents
were dead give aways...) |
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// Takes a man of real nerve to bomb terrorists // |
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Ol' George W. certainly had the cojones for that ... just a shame he wasn't ever quite sure who, and where, the enemy were. Except of course the Democrats in Congress, which went without saying. |
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"Better that a thousand innocent people should be cluster-bombed than a single terrorist go free". Or something like that - not sure his soundbites were quite that coherent. |
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// What if they landed on someone? // |
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S'Ok, they used to fly waaay out over the sea. No risk to anyone below. |
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I don't think being dangerous means being violent. That's
why [MB]'s initial examples appear to some as boring
risks... Because danger is like that; it's not necessarily
violent. Sure, doing violent things is dangerous too, but
not all dangerous things are violent. Anyways, reminds me
of the Shamaladingdong movie 'The Happening' where
people would get the virus or whatever and commit
suicide in the most expedient conceivable way. |
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They are intentionally boring risks. Nobody will die as a
result, hospital admissions will remain the same, and
healthandsafety people will only froth gently like salted
slugs. |
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Of course, though, the reality will be different. As many
people will die on IDD as on the preceding day, but all of
their deaths will be blamed on IDD. |
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So, once again, it's back to the darwin board. |
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// healthandsafety people will only froth gently like salted slugs. // |
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We will pay a pound to watch that. |
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//back to the darwin board// |
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