Intelligently Damping Muscular Marshmallow

Having thought about it, many of life's woes are brought on by unnecessary and unwanted mechanical vibrations.

For example, traffic jams encountered on bus journeys are too often made unbearable by the grating rattling of the bus, which makes ones teeth chatter and bounces ones head from the steamy pane.

Also, how many household boilers wake up humans and dogs during the night - so that they think they have a burglar or an earthquake - and how many washing machines walk about kitchens without proper permission?

Intelligent Muscular Marshmallows for Mechanical Damping come in packs of eight. They are pink -OR- white. Each one is activated by the application of a drop of whisky. This behaviour is by design.

Essentially these items are described by the product name. Through a tight process of chemical, biological, mechanical and nutritional engineering, each marshmallow has the capability to seek out nasty vibrations and attach itself to the offending object using confectioner's custard secreted from a gland at its rear. The body mass will be extremely good at eating up vibrations, so the vibration will lessen immediately. This has something to do with resonance. Additional marshmallows may be required.

Perhaps it is that the term 'intelligent' is a tad misleading here. These items are not animals as such. They do contain essence of animal intelligence, perhaps extracted from the common slug, but their muscular activity is more a mechanical response than an act of will.

These marshmallow are not self-aware, and may be melted down and eaten when no longer of use.