h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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Many new parents complain that babies do not come with instructions or a technical manual.
This is easily rectified.
At birth, all babies would have one of three possible QR codes (one for each gender) laser-tattoed onto their foreheads.
Shoud parents then require guidance or information, they
need only scan the QR code to be taken to a website providing advice and assistance.
[link]
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Are you sure this QR code shouldn’t be tattooed onto the foreheads of the parents, to be used for informational purposes by the infants? |
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Otherwise it would be called ”Instructions for parents”. |
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//Many new parents// Awww, [8th] - you should
have told us - I would have asked grand-aunt Jacob
to knit a muzzle for it. Congratulations on the happy
event. |
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We are delighted to announce that the Collective has not been augmented. The idea is merely in response to observation of the consequences of an unhappy event for others. |
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How do the doctors know the baby's gender when it's only a
newborn and incapable of meaningful communication, let
alone thinking about how it fits into a social structure? |
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…I suppose gender vs. sex may be a difficult concept for the
Borg. |
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Also, what about home births? I'm sure you don't want those
parents who have babies at home to continue to complain
about lack of a manual. |
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Include manual or bar code with every box of condoms or birth control pills. It is the unwanted child whose parents need a manual. |
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An what's all the nonsense about special codes ? Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. Ask Hansel and Gretel. |
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QR's are kind of fragile, and if forehead skin
stretches asymmetrically enough, it's
buggered. |
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// if forehead skin stretches asymmetrically enough,
it's buggered.// or anencephalic. |
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// How do the doctors know the baby's gender when it's only a newborn and incapable of meaningful communication // |
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Well, they know to within 99+% accuracy, which is pretty much enough for functional society. |
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// incapable of meaningful communication // |
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Since this is also true of many adults, it rases the issue of how doctors cope with the general population. |
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The technique of "Ignore the patient's symptoms and make a guess" seems too obvious ... |
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Vets rely primarily on information provided by the owner. |
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