h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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Every elected politician gets a shock collar that can also give dopamine injections and are followed 24/7 by a personal camera crew recording and live streaming their every action.
Every registered voter gets an app on their phone that lets them watch the live feed with alarms and notices to alert
them any time the politician is about to speak in a debate or vote on a bill with two buttons they can push any time they feel like it.
The red button administers a shock any time 5% or more of the voter base press it within any two second window with the size of the jolt increasing incrementally the larger the % of voters that pressed it.
Likewise the green button administers a small incrementally increasing dopamine dose if enough people press it within a two second timeframe.
Suggestions for alternative punishments and rewards for special events and high profile debates and votes could be taken by public phone in polls (charged at premium rates of course).
This way each politician can be instantly alerted to how good a job people think they're doing.
An extremely excitable Japanese gentleman should be hired to jump up and down and shout incoherently in one corner of the screen in response to the politicians reactions to the various stimuli.
Politicians will get instant positive and negative feedback on how well they're doing in the voters estimation allowing them to learn and adjust to do a better job and everyone else will be entertained.
Make politicks fun again!
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Disclaimer: It has been brought to our attention by our statistical analysis team that almost as many people are often happy with any one particular political decision as are unhappy with it and thus that a simultaneous electric shock and dopamine dose may not be infrequent, there may therefore be a non zero chance that some politicians could begin to enjoy electric shocks as a result and potentially became addicted to them to a dangerous degree, we would like to categorically state for the record that this was in no way our intention, that this information is new to us and we were not in any way hoping, as some have suggested, to 'thin the herd' with this proposed reality TV project, it's felt by management that the risks are probably fairly minimal and with the boards approval we would like to proceed with a short trial season regardless, just to see how things go. |
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(Reads to see if there's anything about Donald Trump.... no, we're good.) [+] |
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This show would be for participation by all sides of the aisle equally, it doesn't really work otherwise, were pretty excited about the idea of franchising it to multiple countries, we're thinking of a spin off variant for the board and CEO of major multinational corporations as well, very excited by the idea. |
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Here's how to sell it in this bifurcated culture: tell each side that the other side is totally against it. |
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//tell each side that the other side is totally against it// |
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Well that should be easy, none of them will like looking undignified or getting shocks, accept the ones with odd fetishes of course, so it wouldn't exactly be a lie to tell them all 'the other side' hates it ;) |
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You'd have to do it based on the difference of red & green, otherwise it would mostly be electric dopamine every time. |
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//otherwise it would mostly be electric dopamine every time// |
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[makes shushing gestures and whispers > "Don't say that out loud!"] |
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Actually kind of what we're hoping for, the most amusing reactions have been achieved by our study group when both happen at the same time, please do try to remember, it is entertainment we're aiming for. |
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Of course, but you did sign the waivers and release forms before you joined the study group, so that's OK. |
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If you'd like to peruse the small print on those waivers we do have magnifying glasses available for rental for a reasonably modest fee available in the canteen. |
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