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You're working on a presentation you're not really that interested in. Windows throws up an error code, with a link purporting to take you to a diagnosis. Clicking on the link takes you to a page of impenetrable tech jargon. About halfway down the page, in amongst text earnestly explaining the finer
points of data corruption due to stream overflow, the words "Alphonse says: The office admin's voice is going through my skull like a bandsaw, can you please call me into an urgent meeting?" appear.
You reach for a well-thumbed Windows manual. Opening it near the middle, you run your finger down an obscure list of words and numbers. Then you click on the error message, press ALT followed by four digits, then Enter, then ALT followed by another four digits. Miles away at the company's Slough headquarters, an error message appears on Alphonse's screen...
(edit, for clarification) Neither you, nor Alphonse is the programmer responsible for the error. This is a covert instant messaging client, communicating by means of faux error messages, lifted from a serious-looking codebook, and a work-friendly cover website which translates them. Should the cover website be blocked, the codebook can be used to decode the messages too, although this will be a bit more laborious.
[link]
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[+] i once had an application error that looked like it was a log of chess moves. |
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Bobby Fischer (RIP) would've found it funny. |
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Why not just have the error condition contact Alphonse directly, if the error wasn't so egregious as to prevent the messaging portion from working? |
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For the record, Microsoft's Dr. Watson will pass the error back to the author, if the software is digitally signed and registered with Microsoft. |
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Edited for clarification - the error message is fake. |
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Even dumber. Better use PGP, OTR, E2E. |
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Oh dear. Is this honestly as impenetrable as it looks? Alphonse isn't some secret undercover spy with the blueprints to Dr Evil's blimp; he's a co-worker. Unbreakable encryption's not what it's for, it's just a whimsical idea for an IM client one can safely use at work, hence the "instant messaging" idea category instead of computer:crypto. <puts head in hands> |
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//For the record, Microsoft's Dr. Watson//
I wondered what Jim was doing these
days... |
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"Edited for clarification - the error message is fake."
Sorry I didn't pick up on that! |
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Indeed. I realised that while the idea might be clear to me, not everyone has the dubious advantage of being inside my head. Thank goodness. |
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No, it's more like a devious 'skin' over an
instant-messaging client |
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