h a l f b a k e r ySuperficial Intelligence
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Insect Ack-Ack
Kill those pesky insects before they hit your windsheid. | |
Though cleverly disguised as a hood ornament, the Insect Ack-Ack is a tiny laser-blaster designed to target and destroy kamikaze insects before they have a chance to hurl themselves against your clean windshield.
Flak (bits of tin-foil) could be sent up when encountering larger enemy squadrons.
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[+] What is the last thing to go through an insect's mind when he hits your windscreen? His butt. |
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I thought "Ack Ack" was the sound you made when you swallow an insect whilst riding a motorcycle. |
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I propose a different solution: an
ionizing plate on the radiator
which electrically charges any
objects coming close to it.
Combine with a powerful (500,000
volts or more) electrostatic
generator and you can
automatically blast bugs apart with
lightning. Looks cool at night, too.
Rain might be a problem - but
there are no bugs out when it
rains, so no matter. |
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Plus, it deals with the irritating
drunks who jump on the hood of
your car as you drive around
downtown on friday night. |
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// an ionizing plate on the radiator which electrically charges any objects coming close to it // |
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Just use a large, exposed Americium-241 source. You'd have to scrape the oxide layer off every now and then, though. But they ionise small, particulate matter (like dust, insects and drunken wankers) very well. |
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Radiation might be a problem. But
what can I say? Nothing is more
efficient, and you can get it
cheaply from smoke detectors. |
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Not in the quantities I'm thinking of. |
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One day I was driving around with a passenger, and a bug splatted against the windshield -- and the passenger said this:
"I bet he doesn't have the guts to do that again!" |
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