h a l f b a k e r yIt's not a thing. It will be a thing.
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Disclaimer: I do not condone theft, embezzlement,
loitering, or public indecency.
Let's say - purely hypothetically, of course - that I
wanted
to go shoplifting. In order to achieve the maximum yield
of
stolen product per trip, I'm going to try to fill a bag
with
goods before I walk
out. Sure, I could walk into the store
with an empty bag, stuff things into it, and then sneak
through the exit, but anyone who saw me enter and
leave
would be able to notice the striking difference in volume
between my bag before and after I took an unusually
long
time to amble through the canned goods section. Then,
horror of horrors, I would be caught and reprimanded - a
truly awful proposition. Sure, I could stuff a balled-up
sweater into the bag when I walk in, but that would set
a
distinctly different profile - smooth and round - from the
lumpy, inconsistent shape of the bulging sack o' goods I
would walk out with. Again, I would be more vulnerable
than ever to detection.
So, for this variety of crime, an inflatable rubber air
bladder in the shape of a vaguely lumpy mass would
really
come in handy. I could inflate it just enough to fill my
larger bag, walk into the store, and then covertly deflate
it in the aisle before filling the bag with stolen goods in
order to return it to an irregular shape. Thus, I would be
able to make off with a bag full of illegally obtained
merchandise without being overly obvious about it.
Given its intended audience, though, selling this product
may prove to be a bit difficult.
[link]
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Women filling oversized handbags with inflated party
balloons
and then surreptitiously popping them in a quiet corner of
the store
(or using wads of paper or self-delivered infants, which
they then leave in the
dressing room) is a time-honored shop-lifting technique.
I'm sorry, but this is baked. |
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On the other hand, it has a really good title. |
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Yes, it does. I suggest that it be repurposed. That's also
quite a snappy quip at the end, there. |
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I love you, inflatable lumpy mass. |
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// I do not condone theft, embezzlement, loitering, or public indecency. // |
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Tell us again why you come here, then ... |
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It would be better if the "mass" actually had some mass, i.e. it contained some water or sand so that your bag had both volume and weight, said ballast being discreetly disposed of before the commencement of premeditated larceny. |
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Anyway, the idea behind this is that it's deflatable,
unlike a balloon, and thus reusable, to a degree. So,
[Alterother], I guess that addresses your objection,
to a certain degree, although making a pre-existing
item reusable is admittedly a pretty weak basis for
an HB idea. |
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If this mass were attached to a tube or pipe, one could place an object in the pipe then sit abruptly on the mass, causing the object to be expelled rapidly from the pipe. |
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One problem: you would need to reinflate the lumpy mass before doing this again and to do this well one would need to cease sitting on it. |
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