Industrial Food Manufacturing Teppanyaki Restaurant

A gimmicky restaurant syncretising haute cuisine food fashion fads with the pleasure centre-tickling sensations of oven chips and ready meals.

In this restaurant, your chef stands amidships, like a teppanyakist, and creates from the finest local ingredients ("line caught Uig seabass", "wood grazed saddleback loin") elegantly presented versions of classic British home "cooking": microwave lasagne, frozen pizza, yes, and chips, in each case following as closely as possible the industrialised processes involved in the manufacture of your preferred freezer-aisle selection.

For example, the chef will hand pulverise a potato before your eyes, before extruding the mash into a thin chip form, flash frying until half cooked and then freezing it, at this point reaching no doubt for the well worn canister of LN2, from which the chilly chip form is extracted and bunged into a wee oven, which will shortly beep its "Food's ready!" beep in the ad breaks of the soap operas you're watching on the built in TV screens.