Inanimator

The Inanimator processes any text and reduces the meaning to nonsense. Find a cogent argument or a well-crafted and thoughtful exposition on a subject and the Inanimator will instantly, using its very complex AI functions, rewrite, re-order, and re-prioritize the salient points to the point of absurdity, without losing the erudite, lofty, and verbose nature of the original. In most cases in political discourse the Inanimator’s product is virtually indistinguishable from the original. The same is true for philosophy, cosmology, cosmogeny, cosmetology, fashion, and religious tracts. Try it out in marriage counseling, doctor’s consultations, and political debate. Often the Inanimator’s results are more interesting, funnier, and may actually be more intelligible and pertinent than the original. Not recommended for technical articles, instruction pamphlets, and recipes. Transcripts become far more engaging. Great for discussions about string theory, dark matter and/or dark energy, quantum theory, and transit route suggestions.

(The foregoing is an example of the efficiency and elegance of the Inanimator AI. Bet you can’t tell what the original said.)