h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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The scrotum hangs out of the body becuase spermatogenesis proceeds better at cooler temperatures. However, evolution has placed constraints on how far away the boys can wander. Our ancestors with very cool and effective but very distant testicles probably had poorer reproductive fitness overall because
of thorny bushes, weasel packs, and unfortunate tripping episodes.
None of those are really factors any more (except the weasels) and there is no reason that men cursed with underproduction problems cannot augment their scrotums, and at the same time augment fertility. Men in need could be provided amply long scrotums using skin grafts taken from the belly or elsewhere. I propose that as scrotal temperature approaches room temperature, sperm production will increase along the same line. By cooling below room temperature (eg: with a breeze) it may be possible to become a "superproducer".
Scrotal Fortification
Scrotal_20Fortification
[calum, Sep 21 2005]
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6 billion people shoved on this planet and you want still more sperm? |
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Personally as a goalkeeper I'd like to have the ability to retreat everything inside my pelvis for a couple hours but I guess that's not possible. |
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The linked idea is in similar vein. Using the mechanism described therein, it might be possible to improve spermatogenesis by chilling the inserted marbles to some specific temperature. This could be immediately beneficial and would have the secondary advantage that the weight of the marbles would stretch the skin of the bawbag to such a point that skin grafts may not be necessary. It would also protect against weasles. |
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Maintaining the temperature of the marbles might prove difficult, but I am sure that some sort of waist-supported Marble Madness-like contraption, incorporating a small, high-intensity chilling unit might be cobbled together, to allow chilled marbles to slide happily through a "catheter" into the nutsack. Removing them might be a problem. Perhaps graft a clanking beeping multicoloured pachinko machine to the scrotum? Keep your balls cool and generate income. |
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//Men in need could be provided amply long scrotums using skin grafts taken from// |
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To take inspiration from Billy Connolly: spare elbow skin. |
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[m-f-d] Bad science. Not only do balls hang looser in the heat, but they migrate CLOSER to the body in cold. I'll trust my own scrotal muscle's judgement sooner than I'll trust anyone taking a knife to my nads to make them hang looser. |
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Perhaps an internal heat pump is needed? Good old Peltier could come in handy, powered by a solar codpiece. |
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