Has there ever been a day you wanted something, but just couldn't have it?
Well, i have devised a device which can make all the seemingly imaginary things in your life seemingly real.
i call it "the shockomatic virtualizer"
So, basically what it is is a modified beer helmet in which a little
plastic screen in attached to it.
All the materials you need is:
-electric Fuel lighter
-Plastic transparency screen
-Board maker.
-portable lap top battery.
-duct tape
-dc/dc transformer (the higher ratio, the better)
-button
Silly willy, i wouldn't advise to burn yourself, only "shock" (pun?) you into believing imaginary things are actually real!
So put on the helemt, Tape the transparency screen to the front of the helmet and be sure its secure. After that attach the battery to a the dc/dc transformer and assume the baterry is very light (its a flux capacitor battery, right?) connect to either your teat.....or the other one down under (no references needed!)
okay, so you have the levitating battery connected to the piezoelectric ignition switch connected to a button which is than connected to some type of "sensitive area"
You now have the apparatus done. now, i will give you some hints based on this groundbreaking research:
operant conditioning-basically pavolv dogs experiment where the dog slobbers when food is approaching. similarly, if you do some thing that is bad, you think it is bad. BUt, the solution is that if you do something enough (like confronting the fear/pain), than you think its good.
Thats one aspect.
olfactory-they say things have stimulate the nervous system really well, like wheat grass and flowers.
and another one
men and women are basical carnal animals. So, they basically love to make mayo sandwhiches. When they are stimulated, they can thus start the mayo making process.
Okay, so basically you have to do it in the following process in order to make things real.
1. put on helmet and apparatus
2. Take out pen and draw picture of what you want to be imagined.
(be sure to take a long whiff...i sugges otter pop smelly markets)
3. Now.....heres the easy part....if you don't see it yet, press the button and shock yourself.....
4. do it until you can see it. This method is guaranteed to work!!
And thats basically it. So...You can now...
-finally see that imaginary friend when you were younger.
-Have a physical image of those voices i your head.
-Have better shaped abs
-suddenly have no personal or financial worries.
and once again....the possibilities are endless!!
once again, another fine product from compatt, formerly acme, INC.
(Un)copyrighted 2006.