Ice Box Explorer

Stuff gets entombed in the freezer to emerge months or years later like a dismembered body part of a contract killing at the base of a retreating glacier. We did have roast lamb today, it was from Wales, it said so on the packet. I’m fairly sure the pork joint is derived from a pig that made the ultimate sacrifice.

What we need is a micro tunnelling robot, with rechargeable batteries and WiFi of course, to make its way through ice to work out what is actually in the freezer. I imagine some sort of drill like the mole from Thunderbirds (link) but maybe with some localised heating when needed. Obviously, it will need some sort of AI to be able to recognise frozen peas, decode such hieroglyphics as “Spag Bol Jun 20 v. nice” as well as take core samples of the more esoteric items for chemical analysis. If it finds human body parts, it alerts the authorities. Of course, it will need to run cool in general, frankly, a challenge for consumer electronics these days; this is likely to be the hardest part.

It can’t be that hard however, there are plans to send a mission to Enceladus (link), a Saturnian moon with an icy crust. If they get there, they’ll have to tunnel through much colder ice and there’s no possibility of getting a recharge. If they want to practice in our freezer, I’m all for it.