h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
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In the similar sort of spirit that gave us that weird ae thing, I propose we create a new vowel to replace all ie and ei combinations with one letter. Somehow I think ☺ fits the bill. It's name should be long enough to be befuddlingly useless, perhaps the 'i before e except after c except ....'
rule itself.
Wikipedia: æ
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%86
The ligature that achieved what all ligatures secretly dream of: becoming a grapheme! [jutta, Jun 23 2009]
//Whose pronunciation should be used?//
Welsh-Embraish_20Translaeta_2c_20ken_3f
Please not Irvine Welsh! [theleopard, Jun 24 2009]
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Annotation:
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As discussed in this evening's London SemiHBCon, this could
cause extreme merriment, confusion and possibly carnage
amongst our German cousins. |
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I have had a hateful thought: use a tiny version of the Internet Explorer icon and get Microsoft to sponsor the English language, |
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Hmmm - this is weird science |
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[nineteenthly]: please stop giving us nightmares. |
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We could all adopt the international standard phonetic alphabet? That at least is completely consistent. However, just like when adopting RayfordSteeles idea we'd need to replace all of our keyboards. And, of course, it won't help making the language itself more consistent. |
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[21] You left out A (like father), U (like put) and maybe some others. Ace and ice are dipthongs rather than pure vowels; if they are included you will also need OU (like mouth) etcetera. Would you really want 'prevent, prevenshun' (which some pronounce more like 'preventshun' anyway)? |
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I agree that there are many stupid uses and spellings in English (one of my pet hates is the use of 'flautist', which has less claim to correctness than 'flutist'). Spelling words based on how they sound may not be an ideal solution, though. Whose pronunciation should be used? |
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Quite. Spelling words how they're pronounced is almost as stupid as pronouncing words how they're spelt (and, [21], you also missed the 's' sound from "pleasure" and "leisure"). |
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//The 10 vowel sounds that can be used to create any sound
in the English language are...// They can? |
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"Who would know aught of art must learn, act and
then take his ease." |
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Is it just me that thinks the title to this post sounds like something Clunk from the hit TV cartoon series of the 70's, Wacky Races, would say? |
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//Clunk from the hit TV cartoon series //
called: "Dastardly and Mutley in their Flying Machines", which was a spin-off from the Wacky Races. |
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"Clunk, he'll invent me a thing-a-ma-bob, that'll catch that pigeon, or I'll lose my job. So!..." |
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Quite. It was Professor Pat Pending in Wacky Races.
As I was saying to my friend Heironymous Chalmondley Warner only the other day, I can't be doing with all this one symbol for each sound and spell things how they're pronounced malarkey. |
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// Clunk, he'll invent me a thing-a-ma-bob, that'll catch that pigeon, or I'll lose my job //
I've always found that most confusing, since his job seemed to be to catch the pigeon. So he was really working to make his own job obsolete, and he'd lose it either way. It's a lose-lose situation, isn't it? He didn't seem to have any other duties. |
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I presume that if they ever did stop Yankee-doodle Pigeon that a replacement would be found. The battle would be over - but the war goes on! |
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I can't spell worth a dam, for this I prefer to blame the French. |
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//I have had a hateful thought: use a tiny version of the Internet Explorer icon and get Microsoft to sponsor the English language// |
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19thly, don't you mean "charge a licensing fee for" instead of "sponsor"? |
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Good point, [Noexit]. Also, the English language would be vulnerable to words coming into it from other languages all the time and need constant security upgrades.
Hang on a minute...
Well, i'm reassured that Dick Dastardly's career is secure, anyway. I now have an image of a pigeon vending machine in my head. The pigeon contains a signalling device which triggers the release of another bird when it's destroyed. |
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