h a l f b a k e r yRight twice a day.
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A face mask that that puts electrodes near muscles used for speech and a computer.
The computer utilises your own downtime (i.e. when you are asleep) to move the muscles to say grammatically correct, but randomly generated sentences and then stores the information about what you said and/or just puts
them online in a blog or something.
In order to avoid one of them hospital type lung pumps, it would just synchronise with your own breathing.
Two pair of noise-cancelling headphones are included to prevent strife with significant other.
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Annotation:
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You bunned your own idea, didn't you? |
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Didn't you say that last year? |
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How about something which electrocutes your hand
with a pen attachment to make you write different
stuff in your sleep to stuff you might otherwise write
while unawake? |
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Under the "first to invent" patent system, that could
be a moneyspinner. |
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//You bunned your own idea, didn't you?// |
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Well, i went through a phase of boning my own ideas as it would save others the time, so I'm taking the other approach for a bit if balance. I have now unbunned it. |
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Also available for voodoo-like chanting for..."no more episodes of Emmerdale"...it might just work. |
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//which electrocutes your hand with a pen attachment// |
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Interesting idea, but I'm not sure I'd use 'electrocute' in the sales brochure. Hmm, the ideal answer to all those emails you wish you hadn't sent/stuff you've ordered off the internet paid out of the joint account, just blame the hand. |
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don't talk to the hand, it's doing the typing... |
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This would make some of my meetings so much easier. *visualizes a hoard of managers and executives snoozing away while their jaw-machines do all the work, followed by an increase in resultant product efficiency, stock price, and workplace satisfaction. |
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Maybe it could record the jaw movements of things that I end up repeating over and over again? |
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Thinking about it, an after-market add on microphone, voice recognition software and a mini-database of really useful stuff like the correct answers for "how do I look in this?", remembering to say happy birthday, anniversary for you etc.. |
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...and possibly a tannoy version, something remarkably like a pantograph affixed to the jaw/tongue/lips, which moves a hugely enlarged rubber jaw/tongue/lips, air to be provided by a nuclear powered air compressor. |
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[!MRM] Seems perfect for North Korea -- perhaps
their nuclear program could be diverted in this
direction? |
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