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I can't believe it's not Tofu!

 Meat for ex-vegetarians.
  (+16, -11)
(+16, -11) 		  [vote for,
against]

What if you've been a vegetarian for many years, and now, suddenly, maybe for medical reasons, maybe you've lost faith, you've decided to start eating meat again? The transition might come as a shock. Well, here's a solution: our new range of meat products: "I can't believe it's not Tofu!" (affectionately known as IcbinT). Made from chicken, turky, veal, and perhaps pork and white fish, these can be moulded into sausages, minced meat or simple cubes.
—Trickytracks, Feb 15 2005

Carni-Food Carni-Food
Same basic idea, but with vegetables. [Worldgineer, Feb 15 2005]

(??) Hufu (Human flavoured Tofu) http://www.eathufu.com
Not exactly relevant but funny in a very odd way. [stilgar, Dec 27 2005]

[link]






       //affectionately known as IcbinT//
As in "Ich bin't ein Hamburger"?
—angel, Feb 15 2005
   

       Lets just get rid of all tofu, and make life easier.
—brodie, Feb 15 2005
   

       I'm sorry. How would removing one of my main sources of protien make your life easier?
—Worldgineer, Feb 15 2005
   

       Hey, don't get me wrong here. I'm a vegetarian (and a chef) myself. The idea just struck me as funny.
—Trickytracks, Feb 15 2005
   

       Tofu infused with beef flavour to ease the transition?   

       I'm not a vegetarian because I don't like meat. It's because I _hate_ vegetables.
—Giblet, Feb 16 2005
   

       "I'm not a vegetarian because I don't like meat."   

       Do you mean "I'm not a vegetarian, but it's not because I like meat." Giblets are not necessarily the best cuts of meat...
—robinism, Feb 16 2005
   

       //Made from chicken, turky, veal, and perhaps pork and white fish, these can be moulded into sausages, minced meat or simple cubes.//   

       Chicken, turkey, veal, pork and fish are already made into sausages and or minced. And they cannot be made to resemble tofu through any means I know of. You could use egg whites to make a sort of mock tofu.
—jaksplat, Feb 16 2005
   

       I like this idea. It would help me mantain my cover (as an omnivore) when I eat with people who despise me for finding the taste of all sorts of meats kind of gross.   

       Now, my only problem is, I don't know what tastes worse: meat or tofu. Still, [+] for the laugh.
—Pericles, Feb 16 2005
   

       Alternative name "I'm hella glad it's not tofu"
—squeak, Feb 17 2005
   

       Tofood.
—missingdonuts, Feb 17 2005
   

       Tofaux.
—etherman, Feb 17 2005
   

       //I'm sorry. How would removing one of my main sources of protien make your life easier?//
The comment was meant more as a joke, but it does hold true. The only good thing about tofu, as far as I can tell, is that it is not meat. Tofu is supposed to have no flavor, but to take on other flavors readily. I like to eat, and what I eat, I like to taste good, and so I use ingredients that taste good. The act of putting something with no taste into my food, and then having it take on the flavor of the other ingredients seems kinda pointless to me. That being said, if there were no more tofu, (not a main source of protein for me) it would open up shelf space at my supermarket allowing me more variety in my cooking choices.
//Life is too short to be vegetarian.// - [UB]
Perfect sentiment.
—brodie, Feb 17 2005
   

       exactly.
—Blumster, Feb 17 2005
   

       What about pasta? It has almost no flavor.   

       Those meats you mentioned have a 'grain' texture - they do not resemble tofu.
—my-nep, Feb 17 2005
   

       I lost something in the brain to keyboard link.   

       I didn't become a vegetarian because I dislike meat, It's because I _hate_ vegetables.   

       And no... Giblets are barely considerable as meat.
—Giblet, Feb 18 2005
   

       And why is offal not considerable as meat, pray tell?   

       Favourite quote from veggie Kiwi long distance lorry driver friend, lamenting the difficulty of finding truckstops which serve food other than meat and meat derivatives:
"It's a shiddy loife bein a vigitirian track droiver"
—squeak, Feb 18 2005
   

       //What about pasta? It has almost no flavor//
I have to disagree, you might as well say that flour or bread have no flavor. There are also different flavors of pasta -- Egg, spinach, tomato.
—brodie, Feb 18 2005
   

       Tofu has about as much flavor as pasta when prepared to a similar density (or purchased that way), and is sold in different flavors.
—Worldgineer, Feb 18 2005
   

       [UB] life is longer for vegetarians? it needs to be with all the extra chewing involved.   

       tofu contains all of the amino acids we need, is more nutrious than meat (proteinwise anyhows). it has proven health benefits, is easier to digest and gentler on the earth. i know i have made these points here already, but something tells me i will go on doing so for a long time yet.
—rainbow, Dec 25 2005
   

       also the title is an unfunny, unoriginal rip-off of a british margarine spread productname; .....Butter.
—rainbow, Dec 25 2005
   

       //I didn't become a vegetarian because I dislike meat, It's because I _hate_ vegetables.//   

       If that means what I think it does, I find it quite funny.....Carrots cowering horrified in the corner of Giblet's fridge, Lettuce wilting at the sound of approaching steps. Onions turning white before being hacked with the chef's knife, all the while the terrifying sound of Giblet's voice: 'Vengence is Mine, Sayeth the Lord!'?
—Zimmy, Dec 26 2005
   

       Soy is biologically a poor source of protein, just thought you might want to know. Not well-utilized by your body.
—RayfordSteele, Dec 26 2005
   

       have i been brainwashed by vegeprogaganda? must do more research.   

       already getting sick of cold tofurkey sandwiches anyway.
—rainbow, Dec 26 2005
   

       Fine, fine. But you usually become vegeterian for medical reasons, you certainly don't switch back for them.
—Honduras, Dec 27 2005
   

       Tofu is great, you just need to know how to cook it (or how to order it as the case may be).   

       I live in Indonesia and (especially with the Avian Flu around) it's probably a lot safer than meat in many cases. Some deep fried tofu and sambal terasi... Mmmm.   

       They also have tempe (I'm not sure what it's called in English) which is like tofu, but using whole soya-beans instead. Stronger flavour...   

       Oh, and [Honduras] some people who don't know how to eat as a vegetarian need to go back to eating meat. Many of my beginner vego friends got anaemic...
—Mr_John, Dec 28 2005
   

       Being part indonesian, I know tahu and tempeh very well. :)   

       I still eat more tofu than meat.
—Trickytracks, Dec 29 2005
   

       //But you usually become vegeterian for medical reasons//   

       Really? Most of the people I know did it for other reasons.
—Trickytracks, Dec 30 2005
   

       I'm sick and tired of vegetarians making their veggie burgers and tofu dogs. Making stuff that isn't meat taste like meat. You don't usually see people making meat taste or look like vegetables. Like a broccoli shaped mould that you put ground beef into and broccoli extracts to mix into the meat.
—Mister P, Feb 27 2008
   
      
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