h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Software inserted in your phone that, at the press of a button, converts the caller's speech into Teletubbyspeak. When a telemarketer calls, simply press the button and
"Hello, Mr. Jones, howareyoutodayI'dliketoofferyouanincredibleopportunity..."
becomes:
"Uh-oh! Messa Dohne. Owa ooh
today! Ah likea offa yoo..."
Hand the phone to your toddler. You're free of the scourge, and the teletubbymarketer is providing a free babysitting service.
Seussian Telemarketing
http://www.halfbake...ian_20Telemarketing
Posted prior to teletubbymarketing, but I promise my idea was conceived independently. [beauxeault, Oct 04 2004]
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Annotation:
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This is wonderful. In order to render into true Tellytubby speak, shirley it needs to do something like "Hello Po [eh-o Po]. Po has a scooter. [Po has coota] Po's scooter is red. [Po coota is wed] Would you like a red scooter? [parp parp] Oh no. [oh no] Po has crashed the scooter [Po crash coota]". |
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And, if you don't have a toddler any more, does the service incorporate delivering a toddler for telemarketer sitting? |
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Shoot, wish I would've thought of it. |
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you've all gone laa-laa. I think I will run away, run away... |
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reminds me of a thing that 'translates' your dog's (now they also have a cat version too) barks into speaking. 'Bowlingual'. Or those phones that can translate Russian or something into English. |
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"Doo yoo have a cwedit cahd?"
"Ummmm Ah think we have some we pway games wiff..
"Doo yoo certify that yoo are over ate-teen?"
"Duz that come before or after fwee?"
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Could you have an adult-translation service going the other way? It could be pretty simple and just repeat the following phrases when the child speaks: |
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"That's very interesting. Could you tell me more?"
"What was that first thing again?"
"I'm sorry, my child was distracting me. Can you start over?"
"Do you have any other products I might be interested in?" |
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Alternate modules do Jar Jar Binks. |
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the annoying bloody character in the history of film |
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Our teletubbies speak lame spanish and the voices are annoying. Plus, some telemarketers already talk stupidly, but the approach is very cute. I love toddler voices. |
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/Would you like a red scooter?/ |
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No, no red cooter for me, thanks... |
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Hold on: telemarketers know enough about you to figure out just which siren or celebrity accent to employ for your household--this bake could have us all waiting by the phone for a sales call from Walter Cronkite or Catherine Zeta-Jones. |
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Bill and Ben telemarketing? Clangers? Now that I would love. Apparently the Clangers can be understood in any language so that would be a bonus for international telemarketing peeps. |
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i vote clangers, especially the soup dragon now that would be an idea... a dragon that makes and delievers soup... |
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This way, you won't buy anything, and you will not become... |
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