h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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A set of instructions on fiction writing that would give guidance of acceptable output, no follow = no ISO certification.
For example, while meandering through the epilogue, not reintroducing some very minor character on page 561,which then makes the reader (me) spend a long time leafing backwards
through the book trying to work out who the heck that person is...
Discretion is my watchword, so I shall mention no names, Mr Peter F Hamilton...
Vaguely related
Headers_20for_20scientific_20papers
[Voice, Jun 06 2012]
[link]
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Formulaic fiction is baked. James Patterson, Wilbur
Smith, Stephen King... James Herbert isn't quite so
bad. |
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It's the anti-formulaic fiction ISO, no stupid superman type characters who defeat every villain, no black and white characterisations, no astoundingly under-surprising last page plot twists... |
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I forgot to add John Grisham, Kathy Reichs, Jo
Nesbo, David Eddings, Anne Rice et al. |
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If only there were some way to resurrect the original
founders of anti-formulaic fiction, Stieg Larsen
and/or E A Poe. |
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How nice if there could be such a thing as a sniffing
Kindle that flashes up a message before purchase
along the lines of 'This is crap, don't hit the button'? |
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I still can't bring myself to buy a Kindle. I read 2-3
novels per week, almost all of them crap,
unfortunately. The local secondhand bookstore owes
me almost $1000 in return credits. |
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Damn, I've just given my Kindle to the charity shop, well I'd finished the book, then my sister told me... |
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Aaargh. Just remembered I was the one who wrote a VB6 program that contained the entire text of the Da Vinci code with tags for all the character name and the plot items, so you could have Daffy Duck and Dubya trying to get to the Philosopher's Colostomy Bag first, or whatever.. |
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Throws himself on his own keyboard. |
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Still alive, slinks off in disgrace.... |
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The latest Iain.M.Banks is top hole - Surface Detail. If not get hold of 'Use of Weapons'.
In any case I think the idea would shackle people with good ideas as they might not follow someoone else's "agreed" standard |
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1) Thou shalt not stuff the shelves with large softcover editions when the paperback is available from the publisher. |
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I've read barely any Hamilton or Banks because I'm not forking over 1.5x cash for an oversized paperback that won't fit in my pocket or on my shelves. Ditto any Holt after 2000 :-( Or the last couple Asher novels (which while I rarely buy hardcovers, they really deserve to be in hardcover, not two differing sizes of oversized softcover and no paperback... seriously wtf). Well that's one way to save money, innit. |
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Thou shalt not dip into another genre, getting people's hopes up for a seriously interesting read, then wipe your ass on the readers through a series of 7 or 8 novels. Yeah you, King. |
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Thou shalt not violate seriously obvious laws of orbital mechanics without a good excuse... yeah you Eric Brown. |
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Banks reads a lot like Asimov's early work, I find. |
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It is mildly churlish, but E.E "Doc" Smith's coming up with more and more ultimate space weapons in the Lensmen series. |
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And someone who might have though to tell P.J. Farmer that historical figures pastiche fantasy is sufficiently amusing for one book only. |
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I was going to do a Banks-ian one, with lactose based entities, called "The Use of Whey-pons", in which the unspeakable main character becomes known as "the Cheese-maker", but then decided not to. |
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I thought I was the Swiss Cheese maker here?
Blessed are the cheesemakers, for they shall.. |
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