h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
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From my experience of IKEA shops, they are the same the world over. From Copenhagen to Singapore, you go upstairs to start with and follow an interminable trail through every bleeding department until finally you descend to the warehouse and the checkouts. Even if all you want is that stainless steel
balloon whisk from kitchenware, you still have to trudge along with the rest of the world and their screaming brats who are dawdling through beds and home furnishings and who for some reason feel it necessary to stop just in front to you to admire crappy sofas.
To the regular keen-eyed customer it becomes apparent that there are unmarked doors, used by the staff, that are shortcuts from one part of the shop to another, much like the secret passages in that old board game Cluedo. So with one simple move it is possible to get from the library to the conservatory (or in this case bookcases to potted plants).
I propose a website containing printable maps of all the IKEA stores all over the world showing their secret passages. Thus a new arrival in a city who just needs to buy a set of cheap (almost-)disposable plates can simply navigate straight to the crockery section without dicking around in the rest of the shop.
Short Cluedo History
http://www.zoicite.com/clue/facts.html
Just the facts, man. [Aristotle, Oct 04 2004]
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Overheard in a crowded store: "I'm sure more people would come if it weren't so crowded." |
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I only go to IKEA once every two years, but navigate easily without seeing the entire plate of Meatballs. Oak, from what Point A to what Point B? No need to tell me the route I'll give you some cool shortcuts. Ever watch Dallas Raines doing weather on Channel 7? What a spazz, huh. |
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Hm, the Ikea in Heerlen, NL, actually has little signs for the shortcuts: "Doorgang naar ...". |
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And they say it never raines in LA... |
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As someone with inside information on IKEA, just look
around for the little half-door on the first floor. If you see
other shoppers and or merchandise over the door,
DISREGARD ANY SIGNS ON THE DOOR and go through
anyway. The setup is a trap to get you to buy more, and a
very good one at that, but the swedes like their traps,
even if they are fire hazards.
But i tell you, i have been to IKEA several times this year
and every time i have managed to make it straight to
housewares. |
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The alternative is to go in the exit door and through the
cash registers the wrong way. This is oftenuseful. |
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And incidentally, Cluedo is what they call Clue in britain
etc. -- i never could figure out why tho. |
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Pun on 'Ludo', an existing board game. |
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...which is itself the latin for I play.
I'm not sure you're right Oak about everyone using the shortcuts in IKEA. I have a horrible suspicion that for many people, traipsing around the shop is a form of entertainment in itself. There's nowt so queer as folk. |
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"clue" is a generic word, "cluedo" is not, so maybe in the UK (or wherever) there are/were laws regarding what constitutes a trademarkable word. Anybody know? [granted, this is markedly off-topic, but this crew tends to adore the most insignificant little facts about how the world works (or how we've made the world to work)] |
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Pay attention people!! Brent Park, Nth London,UK. Go up the stairs as you come in, turn left immediately at the top and you're straight through to the stairs down to the main ground floor warehouse (or the entrance to the restaurant if you prefer - those meatballs <<mmmmmm>>). Or, if you bought something upstairs (or taken the reference number of something upstairs) and you don't wanna go thru the entire grd floor, go down the stairs by the restaurant entrance and turn left (around the lift) at the bottom. Bingo, you're in the main warehouse near the exits!! Hurrah |
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Burlington, ON, Canada. Brace yourselves: You can park your car directly in front of the warehouse and enter through the warehouse entrance. Checkouts in front, restaurant (and sticky buns) on the left, socialist furniture just beyond the checkouts and in plain sight. How sensible! |
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Evidently IKEA stores are not the same the world over. The IKEA nearest to me, in Emeryville, California,USA which Opened in April 2000 has clearly marked shortcuts throughout the store. They also provide maps of the store. |
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So does the store in Elizabeth, NJ. However, when my wife and I drive the nearly 3 hours to go there, We are going to be darned sure we see everything in the store before we leave... |
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quarterbaker: It turns out that Cluedo was a British game that was published in America as Clue. [see link] |
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Ludo is both Latin for "I play", the name of English coastal recreational areas and the name of an old board game. Therefore Cluedo is a title that suggested board gaming around the subject of clues around the time that the game was introduced in the UK. Americans are not generally known to up on Latin so I suppose the name was simplified for that market. |
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For more information search Google for "Cluedo Clue history". |
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Hey man what are you doing in IKEA any way. |
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Looking for the fucking litter tray - what did you think ? punk! |
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