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As I get older, more and more little chunks of whatever are floating around betwixt retina and cornea. The solution?
Tap the eyeball with two moderately heavy gauge needles, and run the delicious juices therein through a (sterile) filter.
Instantly regain the same uncluttered sight of bright,
simple fields of view you remember from yesterwhen.
(?) Vitreous detachment
http://vision.about.../qt/eyefloaters.htm
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 15 2006]
Zap them with lasers
http://www.eyefloaters.com/
[ldischler, Jun 16 2006]
Oh crap, that's so much more terrible than I was envisioning.
http://www.eyefloat...es/texas_retina.jpg
Dry heaves... [GutPunchLullabies, Jun 16 2006]
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I assumed this to be a means by which one
could find suitable jokes..... |
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Great idea, but for the pain induced simply
by thinking about the procedure. I'll keep
my 'floaters', thanks. |
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Would the eyeball not collapse if the
pressure inside were reduced? |
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Doesn't bear thinking about. |
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When I was young, a cousin of mine shot me with an "empty" BB Gun. It struck me in the side of my right eye. It didn't puncture but caused some internal bleeding that soon required some surgury to fix. Between the bleeding and the surgury, I have about 2-3 times the floaters in my right eye as in the left. I would think that cutting the eye would cause more floaters than it would solve. |
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// Would the eyeball not collapse if the pressure inside were reduced? //
Yes it does. It can happen with accidental punctures and sometimes it is done intentionally to relieve pressure due to an infection that causes swelling. But the eye has all of the means to regulate the eye pressure over time. It eventually goes back to normal. |
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BTW. I tried to say something funny but the humor filter must have stripped it out. :( |
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[2 fries]'s (?) link mentions that in rare cases, the vitreous humour is replaced with saline solution to deal with serious instances of this problem. |
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[phlish], I've heard something to that effect before, but my optometrist tells me different. And my own experience with "dry eye" has been excruciating. |
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hey, I'm crying (don't ask) - want some real tears? |
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you can buy the real wet stuff I believe. |
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[pats [po] on the back, offers a tissue, doesn't ask] |
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The laser is a fairly simple outpatient procedure now. Think waiting in line three hours because the 2nd laser system broke down. Having the eye dilated with drops. 15 minutes of click zap click zap ... 50 60 times. |
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No pain. Drove home after. |
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Can you use destructive interference between two
tightly focused high frequency lasers to destroy the
floaters? |
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