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Hooked on Psionics

 I can read... your mind!
 
(+9, -9) 		  [vote for,
against]

Teaching children to read is tedious and often unrewarding. With new drugs and conditioning they will soon be able to lift pronuciation, spelling, and definition directly from the mind of the speaker. With some training, the little tykes should even be able to do this without making the subject's brain explode.
—centauri, Oct 28 2000

Psychic Voicemail Hotline http://www.tomsmith...sychicvoicemail.htm
Yep, another filk link. [bookworm, Oct 28 2000, last modified Oct 05 2004]

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       I can read your mind, and you should be ashamed of yourself!   

       Welcome to the psychic answering machine. At the beep, think about your name, think about your phone number, and I'll think about calling you back.   

       The Psychic Friends network went out of business. Didn't they see that coming?
—StarChaser, Oct 28 2000
   

       I'm for it, but I want you to admit that you thought of the title first and the explanation later.
—Monkfish, Nov 19 2000
   

       Monkfish: You say that as if it's a bad thing.
—centauri, Nov 19 2000
   

       centauri: No, not what I meant at all. I'm relieved to find someone who does things the way I do them.
—Monkfish, Nov 19 2000
   

       Hey, Starchaser, interesting note about the last joke in your psychic-gag roundup: I've just realized that not only have I heard it before (as you expected), but it's thousands of years old and could, for all I know, actually pre-date human civilization.   

       Johnny: Man, that's an old joke.
(chorus): How old is it?
Johnny: At least 1800 years, probably a lot older.
(chorus): (laughter)
—Monkfish, Jan 16 2001, last modified Jan 17 2001
   

       <grin> I didn't claim it was an ORIGINAL joke...I got it from the Daily Show on the comedy channel <Actually, the commercials; I don't watch the show itself> when he was interviewing Diana Ross...
—StarChaser, Jan 18 2001
   

       I realized that you weren't claiming it as a StarChaser original; didn't mean to accuse you of anything. I just realized that it really _does_ crop up that early (though not in a context that names the Psychic Friends Network specifically). What led me to then decide that that was relevant or interesting enough to post, however, is really anyone's guess.
—Monkfish, Jan 18 2001, last modified Jan 19 2001
   

       Where'd you read about it?
—StarChaser, Jan 19 2001
   

       Apuleius, but I have a feeling that he didn't come up with it either.
—Monkfish, Jan 19 2001
   

       Look at what you have written, Centauri, look at it! Does it make any sense?   

       "...lift pronunciation... directly from the mind of the speaker." If someone is speaking, then you are listening, not reading!   

       And people would still have to read, wouldn't they?   

       And mind-reading at such an expert level is impossible to teach, isn't it?   

       But I can forgive your inanity, since you were joking.
—Vance, Jan 29 2001
   

       I am Lwaxana Troi, a daughter of the Fifth House ... oh wait, sorry ...
—arghblah, Jun 09 2001
   


 

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