h a l f b a k e r yRenovating the wheel
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The Colonial Contingent seconds. No. |
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// possible to fuse two English stories together. |
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I saw Mary Poppins defeat Voldemort recently. |
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Under the influnce of which substance(s)? |
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Change your supplier, that's bad stuff you're
smoking. |
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Ok, for the nay-sayers, I raise the stakes - His Dark Archers on Ice. I can see it doing well on Broadway. |
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I'm sure Walt Disney never had these problems. "A mouse, with gloves, a pair of shorts and a squeaky voice? Surely, you jest Mr Disney?" |
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// I can see it doing well on Broadway // |
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And we can see your head looking good on a
spike on Tower Green. |
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// Under the influnce of which substance(s)? |
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Danny Boyle, I believe it was. There was Captain Hook also, that's at least three. |
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//And we can see your head looking good on a spike on Tower Green. |
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I'm guessing you can't do public executions there these days, no bugger would be able to get there due to the Circle Line engineering work? |
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I'll throw my fishbone onto the pile for this one, I think. The Archers is barely tolerable and His Dark Materials, although it has some nice ideas in it, is over-rated. I would have been neutral though had it not been for the addition of the Ice Spectacular, which I hate.
//I saw Mary Poppins defeat Voldemort recently//
<Rocky Balboa> "You ain't so bad!" </RB>
PS: Can I also add, appropos of nothing, that although I do seem to hate almost everything (especially the monarchy, James Bond & Mr Bean), I thought the Olympics opening ceremony was bloody excellent and my bosom swelled with patriotic pride throughout the whole damned thing. |
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Likewise, and my sense of pride was enhanced by my knowledge of how little of it would be understood by foreigners - e.g. the short snatch of Shipping Forecast. |
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Of course, I should have seen it, His Dark Archers on Ice, with Mr Bean... |
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<picks up mauve crayon and sugar paper, starts writing to A.L. Webber...> |
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Prior Art: Bambi Meets Godzilla... <link> |
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//my bosom swelled with patriotic pride throughout the whole damned thing.//
I especially enjoyed the part about the invention of industrial air pollution. |
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Yes, a great step forward; up to then, the range of things that poor people could afford to die from hadn't changed for centuries - and then whole new vistas of premature mortality were opened up ... |
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Even now, those imprisoned in The Lowest Circle Of Hell are no doubt watching the opening credits of "Strictly Pro-Celebrity His Dark Archers on Ice, with Mr Bean, Daniel Craig , and the Royal Family Parachute Display Team ..." |
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And when they change from the Circle Line onto the Central Line, the only available destination is Stratford, where they are charged £18 for a 250ml bottle of warm tap water and then forced to stand in the rain for hours watching heats of the shot put (commentary by David Beckham and Orville the Duck). |
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Quite right, sqeaketh. Yet another thing that wasn't invented by the French! |
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Finally thought of a film that could be remade in His Dark Archers style..."A Bridge Too Faa". |
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In case you hadn't guessed, I'm just working part-time these days and have faa too much free time... |
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<Powers up warp drive, deflectors and all weapons systems to warm
standby in case
someone posts "Harry Potter and the Last Crusade for the Amber
Spyglass"> |
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"Helmsman, lay in a course for Mornington Crescent". |
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Sterling Archer / C.S. Lewis crossover. There. |
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^ I can see Archer in Perelandra |
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//Harry Potter and the Last Crusade for the Amber Spyglass// |
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That's right, same as in "Braveheart: The Quickening". |
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Veronica, Jughead, and Betty travel to a parallel universe where they embark on a mission to rescue bubblegum pop from the influences of autotuning, in His Dark Archies. |
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What about the story of a commercial landlord who specialises in
leasing badly-illuminated workshops constructed under railway
viaducts which are in the shade of tall buildings built alongside ? |
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It would be called "His Dark Arches" ... |
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And the fans could all be referred to as Arch Supports. |
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Of course the sequel, set in the aftermath of a disaster which causes
the viaduct to collapse would be titled "Fallen Arches" ... |
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