h a l f b a k e r yRIFHMAO (Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)
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Hide Behind Your Tiny Hands are a set of
spectacles that you wear when viewing a
particularly tense film, or one that
contains scenes of graphic horror.
The glasses are fairly conventional,
except
they have a pair of tiny hands attached to
them, which automatically swing down in
front
of your eyes at predetermined
points
in the film. Films broadcast markers at
these key points which the glasses receive and
interpret.
The glasses can also be calibrated
according the viewer's individual
tolerance, with the hands being capable
of
parting the fingers slightly so that the
film
is still just about visible between the
gaps
in the digits.
Ear phones complete the arrangement,
with soothing music interjecting where
required to replace the sound of
screaming as bones are being sawed for
example.
eek
[hob,
May 21 2009]
Joo Janta 200 Peril Sensitive Sunglasses
http://www.google.c...glasses&btnG=Search A related idea, from HHGTTG [hippo, Nov 12 2006]
These would go well with fingerphones - also by xenzag
fingerphones Especially if the fingers moved. [Ling, Nov 14 2006, last modified Nov 15 2006]
Just add the motorised fingers
http://www.solifest...linda-farrow-x.html [xenzag, Dec 06 2015]
[link]
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silly? I would use these. + |
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If I get a pair for my dad, we could watch fight club together... |
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Edit: What [hippo] said (below) |
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I don't think the ear phones fit with the idea - there should be matching tiny hands to block the ears. |
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And a tiny hand for your mouth, in case you try and tell anyone what happens in the film, to someone who's not seen it yet. |
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- and a tiny hand to clamp down on your crotch in case you're desperate for the loo but can't tear yourself away from the action. |
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"What we got here is a failure to communicate. Some men you can't reach, that is they just don't listen when you talk reasonable so you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it, well he gets it, and I don't like it any better than you men. If he had just taken his tiny hands octopus contraption off, maybe he wouldn't be here today." |
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The Many Cool Hands of Luke- coming soon! |
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This is just awesome. My suggestion for another tiny hands device: a tiny fist to punch the joker using his cell phone. |
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How bout a tiny hand that catapults popcorn or m&ms at your face every few seconds... or gummybears at the movie screen if it sucks... |
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"That moviescreen sucks!" *pelts with gummy bears* |
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The movie's not too bad though! |
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Does it have manual override? |
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and a tiny water pistol to squirt the nice fellow kicking you in the back of your seat. |
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Is this really necessary? |
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Y'know, I think I saw something like this in one of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy books. |
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Thank you [hob] for the excellent illustration. |
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Mark Twain, on witnessing the can-can: "I placed my hands before my face for very shame. But I looked through my fingers." Perhaps such a through-the-fingers feature could be included. It appears to be present in [eek]'s illustration. |
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Ahem, [spidermother] did you read the actual idea?.... "with
the hands being capable of parting the fingers slightly so that
the film is still just about visible between the gaps in the
digits" |
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"Hide Behind Your Tiny Hands" |
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Mandatory for the opening sequence of "The Living Daylights" where the Land Rover goes over the cliff ... |
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See last link. Naturally I wait for my brown envelope to
arrive every day now. |
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You are so "before your time". Love. |
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Excellent. I'm sure your brown envelope is in the post |
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I thought this would be something Tr***p associated. Delighted to see it's not. |
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Yet you still felt the need to speak his name. |
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"You're gonna need to get a bigger pair of hands!" |
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No, triceps are much more proximal than hands. I don't see how they're related to this idea. |
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