Hidden Helmet Hat

Not to be used on construction sites, where bright colors increase safety through visibility, these hidden helmet hats look just like a normal sombrero/fedora/bowler/fez but are reinforced with either hard-hat plastic, military bullet-stopping metal, lightweight bike helmet ribbing, or a fake skull-top with artificial hair, skin, bone, and blood packets.

An undercover detective wearing a fake-skull hidden helmet fedora gets brained by a frying pan! The fake skull cracks disgustingly and fake blood seeps down his face and through the crushed hat. The detective says, "Oh, I am slain!" and falls to the floor, holding his breath. The criminal, not quite convinced by the theatrics, bends to feel the blood, which he finds quite warm since it has been in contact with the detective's noggin all day.

In fact, the detective only chose this heavier hat today because the weather was cold and by surreptitiously microwaving the hat made a kind of heat-battery. Satisfied that the detective was dead, the criminal turns to escape, when the detective uncrosses his eyes and withdraws his tongue to pronounce an equally stunning comeback line that he thought up while he was down.