h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Like most of us, I always have the hiccups. And I do mean -always-. I.e., to the extent that hiccups resemble an ideal point process, the interval between successive hiccup events merely varies.
Of course, that distribution of inter-hiccup intervals is likely multimodal, and perhaps ultimately
disjoint. Bottom line: I'd like to know just what that distribution is -- and how it varies among people (whether they show interesting patterns of hiccoupled hiccup behavior, for example). Perhaps hiccups, like earthquakes, even show some 1/n power-frequency relationship! The possibilities...
So I'm seeking volunteers for nearly harmless hiccupograph implant, designed to record a time signal of abdominal neuromuscular activity canonically associated with hiccups.
Stockholm, you have my number.
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Ok, listen. And listen careful. First, slowly close and put the statistics book on the shelf. Careful! Now, see all those physics papers and homeworks on the desk? Gently pile them up and put them in the desk drawer. No, don't organize them by due date. Don't arrange them by tensile strength. Just a pile. And put away. The two HP48 calculators in your pockets, remove them and place them in their protective sheath and leave them on the table. Faster! |
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Ok, so far so good. Now go into the bathroom and take off the oxford. But leave the undershirt! Ruffle your hair as much as it will go. Use some styling gel if you have it. Now, quickly get yourself to the nearest pub and start drinking. And I mean *heavily*. Just give the bartender $50 and say "Kamikazis." I think if you don't binge drink for at least 6-7 hours straight you may quite possibly be stuck permanently insane. |
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Phew! Close call, my friend. Close call... |
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Duu -- hiccup! -- duuuuuuude!! |
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Sheer madness. The average person goes for weeks without a -physical- hiccup. As for life-based hiccups, I don't think there's a machinge yet built that can measure that many occurences. |
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Machinges like that are hard to come by. |
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<The average person goes for weeks without a -physical-
hiccup.> |
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As opposed to an -imaginary- hiccup? |
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Who else guessed the author before reaching the end? |
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I would suspect you could use one of those portable EEG machines to record hiccups. |
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