h a l f b a k e r yThis is what happens when one confuses "random" with "profound."
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This is very expensive.
Take eighty-four large batches of meringues and bake them in an oven filled with helium and xenon in different proportions for each batch. Place each batch in a long tube with a spring at the top and an aperture at the bottom, lined up with the maximum xenon content at extreme
left and maximum helium content at extreme right. Grab a meringue from the appropriate aperture and take a bite out of it before rapidly moving on to the next aperture. Meanwhile, an enormous fan keeps the area clear of gases likely to alter the frequency of the notes.
If the proportions are correctly calculated, each meringue will crunch at a different pitch, and a tune will be played.
There are two snags. One is that the highest pitched meringues will tend to float away and may need to be tethered or caught very rapidly between the teeth to be crunched in a timely way. The other is that after a while, the player may lose consciousness due to inhaling large quantities of noble gases. However, one advantage is that if they're electrified, they will be luminous and the colours will vary according to the pitch.
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Annotation:
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//if they're electrified// - is that the gases, the meringues, or the players? |
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Why not try all three in turn, and go for the one you like the best ? |
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First the meringues, then the gases and finally the player. |
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Hydrogen would be cheaper than Helium, and just as effective ... |
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I don't think electrified hydrogen-filled meringues would be terribly safe in an atmosphere containing large amounts of oxygen. |
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Neither do we, that's why we suggested it. |
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It wouldn't necessarily glow prettily either though.
I also want to add that there should be active noise control to cancel out the fan noise. |
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I don't really understand how this works, but I'll take it on trust that it does. |
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I er... I don't know really. I just like it. |
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Then again, you could also bake an entire meringue with radial compartments containing different proportions of the gases. One thing i don't know is what colour xenon glows when electrified. I imagine it's yellow, but that's a guess. |
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//I don't really understand how this works, but I'll take it on trust that it does.// - works? - you mean when you post ideas here, they have to be able to work? The whole thing sounds very suspect to me - that's why it gets this + |
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Not keen on meringues. Something about the texture I think. But as long as someone else is doing the crunching +. |
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..but will one gain weight every time they play this? |
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[miasere], if you type <br > in your text (without the spaces) it will
insert a single line break. |
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How about a marshmallow version for opera? It would give the singer a higher range and they'd look like Don Corleone. |
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Absolutely, but heat-sealed before it starts i think. Maybe a series of squishable marshmallow "keys". |
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Add some hot spices and one could play merengue music. Perhaps from one's fundamental orifice. |
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why xenon? It is so expensive! That is like using gold foil to bake a potato. |
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There are alternatives. Xenon i like because it's quite innocuous, and i like things which begin with X. You could use sulphur hexafluoride. |
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