h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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Mostly a novelty for parties, this new
form of pizza (AKA the "endless
pizza") would be baked in a special
oven that has at its core a tall helical
"pan" that looks like the inner
workings of a classical Archimedes
pump. This screw stands upright
within the oven and the pizza slides
'round
and 'round the center shaft
and down to the bottom as it bakes.
Fans within the oven and possibly
heating elements within the tray help
circulate hot air and even-out the
baking of the pizza as it slides
around and down.
To begin the process, the dough is
rolled and pulled (rather than thrown)
in great quantities (ok not truly
"endless pizza" thus the quotation
marks above) and fed into the top of
this oven. Nimble pizzeria workers
<upgrade option> or a phalanx of
frenetic French fembots </upgrade
option> apply the toppings as the
dough is exposed at the top of the
oven and before it rotates down,
around and below the oncoming
layer... Some kind of chain-drive
pulls or pushes the pizza down the
slide. The pizza might require a
slippery paper to ride on (sticky
dough.)
Pizzas are made in this way
continuously from opening until
closing.
As a particular order is finished, a
HUGE LASER BEAM (see [cucaracha]'s
"Laser cut pizza") both portion-slices
and slices off the pizza in a stylish
squiggle. In addition, the huge laser
beam might burn the pizzeria's name
and phone number into a section of
the dough left "untopped" for that
very use. Order number and party
name could also be scorched in there
too. Maybe a coupon for your next
pie too. But I digress.
The inner-most part of the pizza
crust (the one that rides the inner
shank of the slide) might be raised
just like the outer crust and cut off
prior to boxing it up. I'd be inclined
to leave it on (waste not want not.)
No longer are there Small Medium
and Large/Extra Large EXTREEME etc.
sizes.
We have one size and you can have
as many multiples of one as you care
for. Even 1.75! Saves on all that math
using pi! ("pi!" looks funny) and the
pizza just grows in the vertical axis.
A single "floor" is just 360° of pizza
and is for the truly boring customer.
Each additional 360° of pizza is a
"floor" and this would be the ordering
convention for the customers:
"Gimme two floors of pepperoni an'
onion, one green peppers and
beano!"
This would yield a 3 floor pizza (and
about 2 inches to the waist-line.)
We have one size and you can have
as many multiples of one as you care
for. Even 1.75 floors. Saves on all
that math using pi! ("pi!" looks funny)
We box this new confection in a very
special pizza box. It is probably
round or octagonal and is taller than
conventional boxes to accommodate
more than one "floor." The insert
(corrugated cardboard naturally) that
keeps the floors separate is placed
below the oven and used to catch the
finished pizza as it slithers out of the
oven. It (the insert) is a multipart
cardboard assembly: has a columnar
core and "floor boards" that engage
the central core much as steps in a
spiral staircase.
Each "floor board" supports 90° of
pizza and has a tab on one of the
short edges and a slot on the other.
In this way they can interlock one
with the next as they continue up
and and around the columnar core.
They form a long gentle sloping,
segmented Archimedes ramp.
The perimeter of the "floor boards"
are cut and scored with what look
like gear teeth when flat. But the
nimble pizzeria workers/fembots
turn these teeth down along scored
lines after they insert them into the
columnar core and WHAMO!: a
"Tower of Pisa" style colonnade of
supports is formed. Now the floor
boards gain support by resting on
the crust of the floor below.
archimedes pump pictures
http://www.animated...mpglos/archimed.htm
if your classical mechanics are a bit rusty... [DadManWalking, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Pizza Donuts are close...
http://www.halfbake...idea/Pizza_20Donuts
phi_16 was on to something... [DadManWalking, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Says [k_sra] to [DadManWalking]...
http://www.ugavine....der.co.uk/vader.jpg
"You're not my father!" [Jinbish, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
there there dear
http://www.sfpnn.com/Misty/zm081401.htm
[k sra]'s time out [DadManWalking, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Spiral apples
http://www.applesource.com/peeler.html
[Klaatu, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
[link]
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I was considering posting an idea for cutting a pizza helically, but I couldn't figure out a way of eating it that didn't involve getting grease all over your tie. |
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Sounds like a tall order...
Welcome to the bakery, [Dad]. |
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Hey [Dr. Curry] if you keep your
gestures fairly small while eating
then you will not have to
// figure out a way of eating it that
didn't involve getting grease all
over your tie.// since my ties stay
at home hanging on a hanger
behind a door they are pretty safe.
But I'm new here and respect your
sense of caution. Plastic tie cozies
on! |
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DMW: What if I eat the pizza in your tie closet? |
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come out of the closet, Curry. |
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is that really your dad, k? |
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You [DrCurry} are welcome to eat
pizza in my tie closet if I can wear
ties in your pizza oven. |
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As I think about it, the diameter
could be fairly small so the Helical
Pizza Oven might be a space
saver. Leaving room for the tie
vault. |
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Thanks for the warm welcome [k
sra] and no [po] I'm not k sra's
dad, pretty darn sure...not that
there is anything wrong with being
k sra's dad... |
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Well, shoot, I was gonna heir on the side of helical pizza until [po] blew my cover! |
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yeah, they could put an "o" out. |
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I think selling by the degree invites
confusion (how hot vs how far
'round vs MD vs Phd vs MA vs
(nach) BS) I'll stick to the 'by the
floor' spec for most folks. |
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but near University campuses or
video game parlors we'd have a
conversion device/table for sure. |
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Wait, wouldn't the cheese slide off? |
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Cheese would not slide of if the
slope is gentle enough. Need to do
some research into the angle of
repose for cheese at 350°-400°.
Any reference material out there
from the fondu set? |
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Wouldn't mind some trial testing, though ... warm up the oven. |
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// rest easy there k sra... // |
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Now you're even acting like my father! Tsk. |
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DMW: even without the Nazi overtones, you would definitely be getting the wrong end of that bargain. |
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you know how you are when you
do not rest... do you need a time
out? |
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Letsbuild! you're on! I'm assuming
you want to wait for the fembots
to be fully engaged. |
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Well done, er, crispy idea. + |
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Una? (watson I presume) the DNA
option, another upgrade, means
either the two pies get conjoined
as per UnaBubba or just made in
tandem, unwound and given to
separate customers, each none the
wiser. |
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The two separate slides on one
shaft presents some interesting
possibilities. (see first link for an
idea on how multiple helixes can
coexist on a single shaft) In
addition to Pizzeria Una's
Doublehelix the two "chambers"
could be distinguished by
temperature (hot and fast, slow
and cooler) |
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Or the two slides could be kosher/
non kosher. I imagine in the
kosher/non kosher model we'd
need two isolated kitchens and the
fembots would need to be trained
in Kosher technique and work
twice as fast as they could only see
half a pizza top to cover it before
it heads out of sight. |
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Ok back to the sheet metal shop... |
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Being the holidays, how about a tapered helix in the form of a x-mas tree? Decorated with pepperoni, etc...
And maybe with a 'star' on top made of green pepper? |
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Only problem is, hot pizza toppings tend to start sliding at anything beyond a fairly shallow angle, which means you'd have to make the sauce out of a new space-age edible glue formula. |
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Someone figure out how to make a Moebius pizza. That would rule! |
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Pi! is the hit Broadway musical about ancient geometry knowledge. |
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Yes the hot pizza toppings begin
to slide, but the pizza dough is
moving down as well! AH HA! Ok
that may actually be a problem.
But thicker sauce should help. Or
aim the fans "up hill" to counteract
the slide force. |
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Since the cheese has less viscosity than the sauce in
most, if not all temperatures, the
pizza cook should lay down narrow rows of cheese
directly upon the dough and crosswise to its width, say,
every 8 to 12 inches then pre-bake this assembly. The
lightly melted cheese will adhere to the crust and act as
a sort of cheese
bump thereby reducing the velocity of any runaway
toppings. |
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Another option is to bake the crust separately and keep
the sauce heated. Another oven works to preheat the
alloted toppings for each pizza made. After this initial
baking and preheating, one cook then spreads the sauce
on the newly baked crust while another adds the
remaining toppings, all in assembly-line fashion. The pizza
undergoes a final flash baking (broiling) just ahead of
exiting the oven. |
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I really like this idea and see it as a cross between a tortilla oven and a luggage carousel in an airport. Tortilla ovens need to cook long enough, but need to be compact. They achieve this by cooking one side during one trip down the conveyor and then flipping over and going back. Three times back and forth is sufficient to cook them thoroughly. The idea of a spiral seems better at reducing the footprint of the machinery. |
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They have the "speed bumps" mentioned to keep the soft dough from deforming and I see this idea as bakeable. An entire pizza could be made by slicing in the appropriate spot and joining the ends together. Very much like the apple peeler/corer/slicer <link> that I have in my kitchen. The apple comes in a continous spiral, but if you slice down on one side only, it makes perfect rings. [+] |
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This has got to be one of the best ideas I have ever seen. This needs to be invented ASAP... Wouldn't be too hard either... The pizza would be continously produced out of some type of flat 'pizza nozzle' and then spirals its way down into some type of tubular pizza dispenser. Amazing idea! (++++) |
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Like those cool tortilla making machines! I love those little tortillas ... I love them GOOD. |
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[builda] I think the tortilla
machines are great. I love them.
One restaurant I have not been to
in a while had the machine inside
the dining room as a source of
entertainment. Wait staff would
occasionally come by with balls of
dough and drop them in the top.
Other times they would swing by
and grab fresh piping hot tortillas
from the landing basket. YUM |
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I suspect they (the tortilla
machines) have cooked in my
unconscious and were a partial
inspiration for the Helical Pizza. |
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Mmmm. If you spin it fast enough
the outward force may counteract
the downward force and keep
everything in place. + |
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I think for thin crust, a fairly shallow angle would be possible.
With the related low topping stack height, sliding should be
minimal. Deep dish pizza, however, is going to result in a
puddle. |
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congratulations on fitting fembots into an already
fabulous and well-rounded idea. you may have all my
buns. |
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