h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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In cargo cult land there is often the misery
of being stuck behind the wearer of a pair
of slapping sandals in a street, subway
tunnel or supermarket isle.
Perhaps I am alone in my despair over this
irritation, expressing my dubious need to
deploy the Slapper Zapper to quell the
pernicious
distraction.
It's a simple device, that is built into the
soles of one's own shoes and consists of a
hidden pellet gun, which shoots out a tiny
blob of super glue towards the offending
heel of the slapper.
Once painlessly struck, the miscreant's
bare heel will immediately stick to the
base of the sandal, on the next step down,
instantly silencing the maddening slap.
With practice both heels can be zapped
with two successive shots.
cargo cult FYI- I didn't know either.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cult
[xandram, Aug 14 2006]
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Sometimes it's best to just bring 'em down with a tranquilizer gun. That way you can get up close and do a professional job of gluing shoe to heel. It's less invasive and tramatic to the slappers. |
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I've been a heeler for years and trust me, you do not want to miss and get a slapper all riled up. |
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Better to shoot the soles of the shoe... In cargo cult land, most people don't need them anyway... tough feet and all. |
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I read this as a cruel device for persecuting harmless slappers - naming no names. |
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I want to know where 'cargo cult land' is. |
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Also, is [xenzag] aware of the alternate meaning of the word 'slapper'? |
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But [xandram] (and [xenzag]) what's that got to do with flip-flops //in a street, subway tunnel or supermarket isle//? |
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[zen_tom] Certainly I don't know. The cargo cult info is rather interesting, but it didn't mention sandals. In fact, a lot of those folks don't even have shoes and they carve head phones out of wood...go figure. |
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I am in Cargo Cult land right now and everything that the
article in wikidpedia says is true, except everyone has
shoes in abundance. There is much strange and unusual
behaviour here, some which is goodly work, but the
slapping of the sandal is an example of a mischief that
must be highlighted and expunged. |
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Oh I see, I was thinking it might have been some kind of 'in' reference to some area in the states or the UK - so you're in Vanuatu, PNG or some such Melanesian/Polynesian Island? Very enjoyable. I'm not a flip-flop fan myself - the way I see it, if you're going to renounce footwear to the point of flip-floppery, you might as well go the whole hog and go barefoot. [+] for the idea, though I might be inclined to use chewing-gum instead of superglue. |
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//Perhaps I am alone in my despair over this irritation// |
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Um...yeah, I think so. It's the little things in life that piss us off+. |
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as a keen wearer/owner of flip-flops/dollar-seventy's/ slappers/thongs, i would be outraged and maybe violent if someone attempted to glue my heel to shoe, it ruins the tune, bone. |
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//and maybe violent// - ohhh I must
learn how to start shaking, as that
sounds like a threat. Got any more? |
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Well if you don't like it, [stork] then I
know it's a good idea, as I use your
opinions as a very accurate inverse
crapometer. |
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