h a l f b a k e r ycarpe demi
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Helps reduce confusion in highly ovivorous households.
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Selling eggs like this might not be practical but I'll bun the stamp that would do this if you sell it separately. Very clever. Contingency bun [+] |
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On second thought, I do see that they're printing on eggs now, why not do this? |
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I know, just print “Hard boiled” in waterproof ink and cover it with white ink that dissolves when boiled. |
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don't americans wash their eggs? I thought I read that. |
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I think eggs are washed before they're packaged no? |
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I mean, they came out of a rooster's butt after all. |
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For a while there our gubment was threatening to make the sale of farm fresh eggs illegal because the unwashed eggs might have salmonella.
Same thing with unpasteurized milk and honey forcing everyone to buy from processors and screwing over farmers. |
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Oh, you just know we stopped that shit in a big hurry.
I mean messing with our truckers is one thing... but messing with our farmers will get their asses fed to the hogs. |
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I think in the UK it's illegal to sell washed eggs for that reason. |
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But as I said spinning makes this idea redundant |
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//As for that rooster thing, doc? Ask your kids to explain it to you.// |
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Well eggs certainly don't come out of the rooster's penis, that would be painful! |
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I can always tell the difference between hard-boiled and unboiled eggs by bashing them against the edge of the pan. The unboiled ones burst open and become fried eggs. The hard-boiled ones burst open and end up on a slice of toast. hahaha |
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I've never tried this but I bet I can tell blindfolded a boiled egg from a fresh egg just by the sound it makes when I rub it with my fingers... |
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...then again after more than a quarter century of installing tile I can 'see' in my head the hollows in the mortar beneath each tile just by the sound of rubbing my hands across them so I might have a bit of an advantage there. |
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Okay then.
I'm off to boil a couple eggs. |
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Somebody should have bet me. A hard boiled egg sounds eggzactly like a fresh one. |
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I know, I used to be that guy.
Back when I was still into such things I had one card trick that earned me several hundred dollars back in the 80's. Maybe more than a grand, I never counted.
Dead simple card trick, complete misdirection, you just had to do it in front of a crowd in order to get payment instead of an ass-kicking. |
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"Don't tell me if I pass your card."
<begins flipping cards face-up and blows way past your card>
<begins slowing down... flips a few more... one more... and then one more>
"Okay", I say waiving the remainder of the deck in their face, "I'll bet you twenty bucks the next card I turn over is yours."
<victim looks around at crowd who saw me blow past the card which usually led to something like>
"Shit, I'll bet you fifty bucks." |
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"Sure you don't want to make it a hundred?..." |
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It's only the crowd that makes them pay up when I rifle back through the face-up cards on the table and turn their card face-down in front of them. |
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One of my uncles, when I was eight or so, once paid five hundred dollars, (like in the 60's!), to learn a trick where a guy in a short sleeved shirt smacked a ping-pong ball against a bar table and it disappeared.
He put a ping-pong ball on the table. |
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...and then I walked up and smacked that ball on such an angle that it travelled up the length of my arm and I caught it in my arm pit. |
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Freaked him out. That was the entirety of the trick he had paid way too much for. Physics. |
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I think that might have been when I started looking for real magic. |
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That was a long time ago. |
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