h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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This device uses a motion detector to sense the presence of a trick-or-treater. When motion is detected, it dispenses a piece of the candy which you have pre-loaded into the holding bin. When the candy is removed, it emits a message such as "Happy Halloween!" or "Boo!" or "This candy comes to you courtesy
of the residents of 1492 Oak Drive." When all the candy is gone, it gives the bad news to the kids and alerts you either by phone, or by a high-pitched tone. The same thing happens if someone attempts to remove the device. With this device, you can proceed with your life while still fulfilling your neighborly duty.
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Seen in stores: A motion-detecting, talking hand (don't ask me, I just live here) sitting in the middle of a Halloween candy dish, grabbing wary kids or wishing them a happy halloween. |
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Having messages be recordable and dispensing candy individually would be a new twist, though. Maybe the cat-feeder industry could lend some help... |
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Or, you could dispense candy from a high-velocity air cannon. You know- for the kids that are across the street and such. |
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This device would only work if all the kids in your nieghborhood were perfectly honest and unselfish.However this is rarely the case. Most kids would trip the sensor over and over until they had depleted the machines supply of candy. |
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Give kids candy credit cards, swipe your card for a piece of candy, everyone gets a gift machine (like an ATM) hooked up to a central computer, then only one swipe per night is allowed on any machine, could come in handy for Halloween, Christmas and any other occasion that involves giving out gifts to people at your door. |
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Thank God for living out in the country on a huge horse farm with no other houses on my road and a big, long driveway up to the farm.....never see anyone on Halloween except the horses, dogs, and cats....and their costumes are the best! |
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I think the proxy thing should be the other way around, for today's busy, professional families that just don't have time to trick-or-treat. Or both ways. A automated candy-dispenser distributes candy to a robotic concierge, secretary, or butler, dressed up, of course, in the costume of your choice. Maybe someone could start a candy-collection business. |
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Face recognition! Who hasn't thought of face recognition? Place a camera near the candy-o-matic, and record the faces of all the trick-or-treaters digitally. Check each face to see if it matches somebody who previously got candy. If so, the candy-o-matic refuses to give out candy. Options: Cold-Water Sprinkler Module, Perpetual Swear Word Module, Slap The Trick-Or-Treater Module. |
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See, I fundamentally disagree with distributing candy by proxy. Collecting candy by proxy, however, I would like to see happen. |
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