Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tastes richer, less filling.

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Halfbakistan

On Dear Friends! On to Beijing!
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Well, it's the only way a certain HB icon is going to get his wish of competing in archery at an Olympics.

We could have a team of twenty or so - only one actual competitor needed and the rest of us can be team psychos, managers and general freeloaders. Need to actually form a country called Halfbakistan, get recognised ($20 to the Kiribati Foreign Minister should fix that), have some sort of selection trials...

Anthem? Flag? Colours?

ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 07 2008

Genocide in Darfur, and China's connection http://www.sudanree...org/Article142.html
[RayfordSteele, Jan 08 2008]

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       During the march-in, those Haitians would be glancing nervously over their shoulders at [calum] in his custard-tartan kilt and tail, battle sporran swinging menacingly...
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 07 2008
  

       Oh yes, and carry Bagpipes .... the horror, the horror ...
8th of 7, Jan 07 2008
  

       No sorry, I don't like this at all. How can you make such light fun about such a very sad situation. Did you not know that Tibet cannot enter the games because they are occupied by China?   

       There was a time when diplomats around the world considered the occupation in bad taste and you were enlightened when you politely spoke about it at dinerparties. But nobody dared speak out loud. No western governments had the nerve to speak on the behalf of Tibet.   

       But there was still some hope because at least the west had the idea that Tibet was a country. That was the meme: Tibet, country in the far east, lots of mountains, dalai lama, holy bhuddist guys.   

       Appearently the Olympic Commitee has the power to change all that. Officially Tibet is a province of China now. Future meme: Tibet, mountain in China, yak butter, like the mongols.   

       If a country now enters the olympics it virtually means they accept China as masters of Tibet.   

       This is the final blow. There is now no hope left for Tibet to ever become a country in its own right.   

       Do you realise this means the Dalai Lama has no safe home?   

       Suppose the games were to be in Canada and the USA would not be allowed to compete because the were the southern province of Canada. Now that's how ridiculous this situation is. No laughing matter at all.
zeno, Jan 07 2008
  

       Didn't know any of that. That's shit, that is. Sadly, Beijing is the new bully in the playground and there aren't any teachers around.
wagster, Jan 07 2008
  

       Shall we introduce a demonstration sport during our three week stay?
Cuit_au_Four, Jan 07 2008
  

       Maybe we could take ownership of the Olympic Village and stay there for, say... 58 years.
wagster, Jan 07 2008
  

       //[calum] in his custard-tartan kilt and tail, battle sporran swinging menacingly...//
That's no sporran! Actually, were I to compete in the Olympic games, I suspect that there are but three events at which I would have chance to excel, namely:-
100m being tall;
talking bollocks (fretless); and
freestyle mergers & acquisitions,
in each case the appropriate attire being a sensible single-breasted suit of black or, if one is being dangerously flamboyant, slate grey, coupled with a sober shoes (no snaffle-bit loafers here), bad handwriting and a slightly sour countenance. That I would be representing Halfbakistan by sporting croissant-patterned knickers (qv) (and thus risking the ire of the Law Society by cross-dressing in a public arena) would be a fact held in utmost confidence by the members of the halfbaker's Olympic team.
calum, Jan 07 2008
  

       Oh no, the gown is worn by all solicitors, solicitors-advocate and advocates who appear in court in Scotchland. Them's the rules. Still, it hardly counts as cross-dressing, as the gown comes in a uniform style and shade. As does the wig, come to think of it. It can't, by anyone's definition of transvestism, be such if the garments in question are unisex in all ways (excepting perhaps size, though there are some very wee male lawyers these days. Often quite pugnacious, they are, too).
calum, Jan 07 2008
  

       I can handle the croissant hat manufacturing. Some shapeable balloons should do the trick.
RayfordSteele, Jan 07 2008
  

       We wish to enter a team in the Improvised pyrotecnic javelin, the explosive shot put, the "over the sandbags high jump, quick before it goes off", the Snickers (formerly Marathon in the UK), the antipersonnel mine-prodding event (held concurrently with the Long Jump, in the same sandpit), and gymnastics on the wooden horse (combined with 100 metres surreptitious tunneling).   

       Any events for the Winter Games ?
8th of 7, Jan 07 2008
  

       [zeno], I can see that what you describe is a bad situation; the playground bully image is well-chosen.   

       However, you didn't half crowbar it in. China vs. Tibet is one issue, the Olympics are another. Did entering the Munich olympics indicate Jesse Owens' support for the Nazi regime? How can you castigate [CF] for not bringing Tibet into this? China and the Olympics are not one and the same thing; in four years the Games will be somewhere else...   

       I hope that didn't sound overly harsh, it wasn't meant to be personal.
david_scothern, Jan 07 2008
  

       At least Tibet isn't being run over for the oil under its citizen's feet. I'm rather more pissed about their foot dragging in the Sudan.
RayfordSteele, Jan 07 2008
  

       Everything is personal [david-scothern] though not hurtfull per se.   

       I did not castigate [cf] for not bringing Tibet into this, I said how can you make such light fun about such a very sad situation. I meant he shouldn't have.   

       Jesse Owens did not support the nazi regime neither did he indicate so by entering the olympics. Rather he shattered nazi illusions of racial supremacy. (not that he was of a different race but that is another discussion)   

       This example is poorly chosen by you. It would have been more accurate if Hitler didn't want Austria to compete because he said they were a German province.   

       Instead Hitler didn't want colored people to compete because he was afraid of the competition. If america would have agreed and would have sent only arian sportsmen, then it would have been equally disgusting.   

       The problem here is that the olympic commitee says it's ok to invade countries and ad them to your own even after the UN said it isn't. The Un general assembly passed three resolutions between 1959 and 1965 asking china to respect human rights in Tibet, including the right of self determination.   

       This means that by international law,Tibet is a selfgoverning country, currently invaded by China.   

       All countries have a right to join the olympic games, except Tibet.   

       So China and the Olympic committee are on the same page. And the UN?   

       It makes me sick.
zeno, Jan 08 2008
  

       Why [Rayford Steele], do they kill, torture or imprison more people in the Sudan? Or do they destroy more ancient monasteries there?
zeno, Jan 08 2008
  

       Would the capital of Halfbakistan be Halfbakabad?
pertinax, Jan 08 2008
  

       //Halfbakabad//

Tee hee!

The problem with the Olympics is that they have made the rather poor decision of inviting countries to compete rather than inviting the top <insert number here> athletes, regardless of their nationality.

I would like to enter for the 24 Hour Computer Games playing endurance event (no rest breaks allowed) and the "I had this bloke in my cab once..." talking bullshit on any given topic, knockout tournament.
DrBob, Jan 08 2008
  

       We could invite all disputed nations to compete under our banner.   

       Is Taiwan competing? China claims that as a province too.   

       <off topic> The death toll in Sudan is roughly the same as 10% of the Tibetan population.</off topic>
marklar, Jan 08 2008
  

       Oh for fuck's sake, I leave an idea alone for a few days and it turns into a geopolitical flame war?   

       All right, just so [zeno] can feel that it is safe to poke his head out from Richard Gere's arse for a few minutes, I hereby announce that The Halfbakistan flag bearer will be His Holiness The Dalai Lama and the team will be levitating around the track.   

       Countries and cultures come and go. No border is unmoveable. No family or tribe is, or ever has been, inviolate. 'Humanity' isn't soft and nice and diffident. In any case, 'Tibet' has no need to define itself within the imposed constructs of its current occupiers, its current borders, its current population or whether or not (for FUCK'S sake) they can join the Olympics or not. This is a point that The Dalai Lama makes frequently. "Tibet' will continue to be 'Tibet' for centuries more but will not be the same 'Tibet' of 1956 just as ANY other country / region / tribe / gang / axis / DNA collective / arbitrary geographic delineation is probably not now the same as it / they / we were in 1956.   

       Also, we will do the demonstration sports of yak leaping, showing to the world Halfbakistan's glorious connection to the Minoans.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 08 2008
  

       I said nothing to insult you cf, I wish you would change your tone. I do not like to be spoken to in such a manner.
zeno, Jan 08 2008
  

       [zeno], suck it up, as the Canadians say. Tibet is a province of China. One day it may not be, but for the purposes of the Olympics its a part of the PRC. Its an emotive issue for you, as it is for me - I'm bhuddist, though not Tibetan bhuddist, and the proscription on the Lamas pains me. You say China occupies Tibet - I say that Tibet occupies a huge slice of Southwest China and that its culture has augmented Han culture remarkably in just a few decades.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 08 2008
  

       I just wish you would debate in a more adult manner.
zeno, Jan 08 2008
  

       The point I was looking to make was that participation in the Olympic Games does not indicate support for everything the host country may do or believe - as you noted, indirectly, with your example of the American team at the Munich games, whose members were chosen not by race but by ability. America did not support Aryan ideology then, and hence nor does participation indicate support for the annexation of Tibet.   

       A boycott of the Beijing Olympics would undoubtedly send a message. However, in Jesse Owens' own opinion, the Olympics is a place for peace, and is outside of the political arena.
david_scothern, Jan 08 2008
  

       /Your argument may well be valid but I don't think this is the place./ Bingo. I'm sure nobody here supports the occupation of Tibet, but I don't think this idea isn't the forum for discussing the question. I'm going to shut up about it now and let people get back to team selection. Where will we hold the heats?
david_scothern, Jan 08 2008
  

       // Why [Rayford Steele], do they kill, torture or imprison more people in the Sudan? Or do they destroy more ancient monasteries there? //   

       Does complicity with wholesale genocide count? If you haven't been paying attention to the atrocities committed in Darfur and China's implicit support of them by repeatedly blocking UN actions against the Sudan for the sake of protecting their oil interests then you haven't been paying attention. Visit the link for more information.   

       "We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." -Elie Wiesel.
RayfordSteele, Jan 08 2008
  

       // No family or tribe is, or ever has been, inviolate // [ConsulFlaminicus]   

       Can we have purple uniforms so that we are?
marklar, Jan 09 2008
  

       I agree with [UnaBubba].   

       ...   

       Excuse me for a moment, I think I need to have a lie down...
theleopard, Jan 09 2008
  

       Thanks for that link [rayford steele] I didn't know that and indeed it gets me as angry as you.   

       [Unabubba] has just shown I can be made to shut up without using the f word.
zeno, Jan 09 2008
  

       [+] Idea originally posted at wrong timing. (or maybe right timing - didn't help much)
pashute, May 15 2011
  


 

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