h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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The Halcyon was a fabled bird that was believed to be able to calm the wind and waves while it nested.
In these troubled times, wouldn't it be nice to be in a place where the seas are calm and the winds settled, a few idyllic hours in an oasis of calm, peace and reverie?
A massage parlour
in which the soul is relaxed in place of muscles. For an hourly charge, you can have a room customised to your requirements to recreate your favourite place.
My room? Stand By Me is playing on the big wood-panelled TV I had as a child; quietly in the background plays Israel Kamakawiwo'le's Somewhere over the Rainbow; I'm stretched out on my scuffed old sofa (complete with ragged edges where the cat used to pluck it); a Terry Pratchett book sits, spine creased, on the arm of the chair; sun streaming through the patio window, just the occasional breeze, carrying a faint hint of the ocean; sound of australian kids playing in the garden.
Your room may be a thousand miles from this. Whatever makes you happy. The sky is the limit. Enjoy.
Edit - To clarify, this is a business. Customers specify anything they want to be included in their room, and the room is constructed in the same way as a movie set. My room only includes things that would be possible - e.g. a reproduction of my old sofa and favourite music. I can hire the room at an hourly rate and go there whenever I feel the need to escape for a few hours.
As the business would require a large amount of space to build and maintain multiple sets, a good location would be a restored warehouse or factory on the edge of town. I have the perfect place picked out on the edge of Manchester - an old textile mill near the Millennium Stadium with tons of square footage at rock-bottom rates.
Anno's detailing other users' rooms don't have to be possible. Go crazy. Go to Mars and take your friends - whatever ; )
Willy Wonka
http://www.geocitie...on/6441/lyrics.html
Pure imagination. Sums it up perfectly, I think. [sambwiches, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Stand By Me
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0092005
Damned good movie [sambwiches, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Terry Pratchett fan site
http://www.us.lspace.org/
Just because the books are so good. [sambwiches, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
[link]
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Soft, blonde wood; an exposed beam ceiling; butter soft leather chairs; a woolen afghan blanket for my feet; walls lined with books; a large globe; a small, quiet refrigerator with an array of finger sandwiches and chunks of dark chocolate; a fresh ginger and Belvedere martini, stirred to the consistency of a frozen cloud; the smell and sight of the shore with the distant natterings of children and gulls at play in the waves; a brass telescope; the decadent meow of a middle-aged cat; jazz piano from the house next door and the spun yellow-gold of sunlight, blended with the ice of a blue sky, peering in through a cucoloris of coastal trees. |
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Room with no windows, dimly lit by several lava lamps of various colours, friends, large comfortable bean bags, anything of Bach (J.S. of course) playing at a volume which doesn't intrude on the conversation, and much artery hardening food to be consumed. |
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Not my idea of a great time, but pretty darn close (after a night in a club, the idea of soft music is very appealing). Keep it up. 4 am, and so to bed. Keep posting, I want something to read in the morning. If you're in the mood, feel free to toss me a croissant. No pressure. Best room wins a small prize : ) |
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Hehe, you expanded your annotation beautifully, [bristolz]. |
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gilligan's island and my gerbil isn't dead. |
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Any room with my friends & I in it. It doesn't matter what your surroundings when you've company, conversation and compassion. |
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People make friends when they're inside prison but I wouldn't think of that as being a halcyon time. Yes, friends are vital but I think surroundings are a big deal. |
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[bristolz], then again, there may be people out there who consider their time spent in jail to be halcyon days, it's entirely subjective. I don't know that surroundings are such a big deal for me - unless they're unspeakably squalid. Frinstance, my bedroom is lime green with purple radiators and a yellow ceiling (a colour scheme I didn't choose) but I don't see any pressing need to change it because I can still have a good time there, with the right people. [So let's everyone pretend my first anno had a "to me" in it, just after "doesn't matter".] |
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You mean a jar of peanut butter that's exactly the size of a jar of peanut butter? |
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I'm more of a tiramisu man in those circumstances. |
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Meanwhile, back at the idea... |
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The Halcyon days were also used as the name for a John Tesh album. Could one, perchance, have the choice of having (or not having, as one wishes) Teshie's drivel blambasting in the background? |
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I would want my Hugh Heffner silken robe laying next to that Terry Pratchett book, for effect. And as much wooden paneling as possible. |
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my fantasy has no visuals. eyes closed and sleepy on a soft sandy beach, just a little silky clothing, sun warm on my skin, gulls shrieking, cool breeze and the pressure of loving lips on mine - mmmmm |
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...same fantasy, sans silk. |
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not grey flannel knickers? pleeeze |
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Strictly burlap for you, eh? |
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What burlap is not, is Oral Sex |
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A very coarse material that is generally unpleasant. |
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it does not sound like aural sex either |
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bris? you want to put me in <weeps> coarse material? is that how you see me? <weeps> unpleasant? <weeps> |
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A frequent staple of sci-fi, this one, most recently seen in "Minority Report". |
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Actually that was a quip in reply to [pluterday]'s "sans silk" commment. |
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I don't agree, [waugs]. While this theme is common in sci-fi, it's always firmly in the WIBNI category - Holodecks, those weird Minority Report fantasy machines - how does it all work? What I'm talking about is physically recreating a space that feels comfortable. Fully possible, no crazy technology. |
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I'm not talking about whether or not it's possible. I'm talking about the concept. |
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"Wasn't that cool, that thing I saw in that movie? Wouldn't it be neat if it were real?" Here's how to make it real. |
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Nonetheless, this is not an original idea. |
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-As it happens, when I wrote the idea the parallel with movies didn't occurr to me, and now you mention it I don't agree with the comparison. |
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-Examples of WTCTTISITMWIBNIIWR cited on the help page are hover boards, light sabers etc. if you can explain how they would work, they cease to be WTCTTISITMWIBNIIWR. They become bakeable ideas. |
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I disagree. As the person who coined the term "WTCTTISITMWIBNIIWR", I think I have that latitude. Anyone can watch sci-fi and say... hm, I wonder how I can make that real? The idea is still unoriginal. |
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Anyway, just one man's opinion. |
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A pile of Lego blocks in the middle of a well lit room and "The Bugs Bunny Road Runner Show" on TV and an unlimited supply of Oreos. |
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You have kids, right? That's what my front room looks like every day. Come for dinner : ) |
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Hmmm.. cuddled up with my boy under the stars. There's a cool breeze carrying some faint music and the smell of jasmine with it. Just stroking his hair and watching a satellite glide across the sky. |
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madradish: I misread that as "cuddled up with my boy under the stairs." Romantic, but claustraphobic. |
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My room's going to have to simulate the outdoors. I want sunlight, the smell of the sea and a skin drying salt sea breeze. |
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I hate to do this, but I have
to question this. So the
'idea' is to have a room
which can be decorated as you
choose - and filled with
items of your choosing. You
listen to the music/sounds of
your choice and have the
opportunity to eat and drink
what you wish. |
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-thats what 'home' is my
friend. |
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Saying that, I shall now
contradict myself entirely
and suggest
that my 'Halcyon Days' room
is one like a pub/bar. It's
light and airy and modern -
yet somehow comfortable and
'lived in' and rustic and
filled with an atmosphere of
timeless belonging. |
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I'm sharing a table with my
fine friends. Laughter
reverberates around us every
now and then - one jibe leads
to another joke and a
different scapegoat, who in
turn laughs it off pointing a
finger at one of the other
guys. |
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-It's my turn to
buy a round of various
drinking delicacies - but I
don't mind. In fact, such is
the reciprocated feeling of
comaradery, it is my
pleasure. Besides, the lady
serving is incredibly pretty
- it can't hurt to call her
over one more time, can it? |
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That isn't what your home is, [jinbish] (not mine anyway). I have toys scattered all over my house, there are never any chairs to sit on and bad music is constantly being played at painful volumes. Its not a place where i can relax. |
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This idea is exactly as I stated - //A massage parlour in which the soul is relaxed in place of muscles//. In place of a swedish woman called Helga, you have an exact replica of that beanbag you had when you were 15. You know, where you got laid for the first time. Like I say, halcyon days. |
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I'm noticing a lot of these rooms are filled with booze, weed and junk food. Cue my next idea: 'Culling of the Unhealthy'. |
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erm...
nice cleanish-smellin abandoned dumpster in oak-pine woods during a warm, breezy spring day; fresh, scented pineneedles for floor, disorderly heaps of old scifi books, ramen noodles, fluffy kitten, fire pit outside, bow and arrow to catch rabbits for cooking in said pit
... thats the ideal halycon 'room' from my youth...
now id prolly add perhaps a cute, nicely-muscled garbageman... |
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That version of "somewhere over the rainbow" is my favorite song in the world. Can I join you in your room sambwiches? |
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Everyone is welcome, [pericles]. The song just started. Have a seat : ) |
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whoops.. I just noticed my anno above can be read in a bad way. PLease read it with a clean mind... I just happen to love that same song and find that same environment sambwiches described pretty relaxing. |
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Awww... you're so nice!!! |
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I read it clean, [per]. Just so happens I'm listening to the song now. I don't think it's possible to have a dirty thought while it's playing. Watch out, though - it ends in about a minute ; ) |
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Not quite a room, but...
It's nearing sunset, and I'm on top of the rocky cliff with my mate overseeing my grandparent's Canadian cabin, which has been updated with a few ammenities, and a few more thousand square feet. There's a nice collection of classical books in one room, with an overstuffed leather chair. In another, a Yamaha piano is playing Chopin to it's elf. A brief glance into another room shows it to be the studio, with a view, a largish drawing board, and the manuscript of a half-complete novel awaiting my return. Yet another room is a well-equipped machine shop, and a final room is filled with gadgets of every halfbaked description, electronic and otherwise. Other than the manuscript stack, there are no papers to be seen, anywhere. |
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Don't I wish. There is no peace in this dingy apartment. All of the walls are still white. All of my furniture is loathsome hand-me-downs from parents purchased during much less tasteful times, the stereo is from a dimestore, the best kitchen china is made by tupperware, there are no animals to be found, and there's noplace to truly relax. But at least I have Israel K. Yet a third 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' fan. |
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Think I'll go watch 'Finding Forrester' now... |
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ooh, your piano has an elf? i want an elf in my dumpster! |
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Looks like we have quite a fan club here. Good room, [rayford]. |
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we can get weather in the high 70s, low 80s in februrary here... but august is killer. |
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I need a holiday. We've just been through a few days of excitement about getting temps of up to 60 degrees. We've had people walking about in shorts saying things like 'summer's early this year'. It's frickin' march, people. Don't get too excited. |
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My room would be from the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolet Factory. Its the first room they enter. All the colors, everything can be eaten and there is even a river of chocolet. I would get rid of Willy and all those rotten kids but keep the Ompa Lompas and add some beautiful women. |
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If you want to view paradise... simply look around and view it... anything you want to do it... want to change the world? There's nothing to it [link]. |
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I'm for the oasis of peace concepts, a la [bristolz] seaside dream. My request would be a gathering of best friends around a table, after a perfect meal, with coffee and chocolate and wine and no place to go for hours. |
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In the short term, I'd settle for not being downrange of Mr Hussein's nasty little missiles. |
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Have a pastry with your coffee. |
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Why thank you very much, [don]. I'll save it for later (just had a big pile of hot cross buns somebody unwisely left on the counter - 5am food stealing: i love it!) |
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Small suggestion to everyone here. Find the time and the means and do it. I once lived in a dirty old basement. I cleaned it up, painted the ceiling and tops of the walls like the sky, under which were mountains then hills, then fields, and a stream that ran into a lake. The lake took up the bottom of the walls and was kind of a cross-section, with fish, and came up to the same level as my waterbed. A painted tree grew next to the lake, and stretched high overhead and across part of the ceiling. Over the single lightbulb in the middle of the ceiling I put a yellow glass dome sun. |
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My now wife and I spent weeks painting it, and although we soon found a new place and the next tennant painted over the whole thing in white, up until then it was the dreamy experience you'd expect and I still remember it with fondness. |
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Sounds cool, [world]. Unfortunately I couldn't do that because this isn't my house. I don't think my artistic efforts would be met with much enthusiasm :-) I'll have to survive until I can afford that warehouse in the city. |
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*sambie* - cool, a nickname of a nickname. |
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<Nicki from Bedazzled/ Hi, I'm Nicki. Don't call me Nick, though. All my friends call me Nicky, and then Nick, Ni and finally its just 'n'. Hey 'n' /Nicki from Bedazzled> |
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A jar of peanut butter seems like a nice place for me...or a jar of vagina jam, whatever's handy. |
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He's being a peanut. Just play along. |
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Ah. Just read his page. Still makes no sense, but I'll just back away slowly. |
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And now i've spotted the vagina-jam idea. It's all beginning to make a horrible kind of sense. |
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I'm sensing peanut discrimination. <If a moderator is allergic to one of the bakers, what in the long term is the cummulative effect
of having read their comments?> You gain a little wisdom from me. |
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I'll take back the vagina jam comment if you take that one back. |
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[sambwiches], the emergency eye-wash fountain is located down the hall, on your left. |
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The halfbakery should designate a day every year where all the bakers gather together to pelt benfrost, the author of "vagina jam", with vegemite, or some other disgusting item, as a punishment. I suggest on the anniversary of the idea's birth, May 24th. |
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vagina jam notwithstanding, benfrost was one of my favorite bakers, and I wish he'd return. |
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Me, too. And vagina-jam, I thought, was just plain funny. |
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I feel for you, bliss. Anyway, woohoo, someone anno'd on my idea so i can return it to the top of the recent list without a certain person mentioning my lack of Bakery ethics :-) Anyway, I wish to add Duellin' Banjos to my room. I watched Deliverance a few days ago on Channel 5 and remembered how much I love that little thing. Time for a cheese and pickle sandwich, methinks. Take care, people. |
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man, i was reading along thinking to myself, "isn't it nice? all those hard-edged half bakers, usually so cynical and technical, are all writing about kittens and rainbows and nice pretty things..." |
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(btw, [worldgineer]: your basement sounds beautiful!) |
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and then the vagijam comments began. |
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why, oh, why must it always come back to vagijam? |
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well, i like the idea. but my idea of Halcyon would be in
the middle of a big grassy field under a nice shady tree,
taking a nap with the girl i have a crush on. how do you
make a room to fit my outside needs and choice in
company? |
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but hey, like i could come up with a better idea. |
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What beautiful insight into fellow bakers' minds. |
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Halcyon days, halogen nights, and the occasional halon. |
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