h a l f b a k e r yContrary to popular belief
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A barre, with mirror behind, as you would expect, to be fitted within or wheeled into your bathroom, in order to give you the opportunity for full on first hand inspection of your haemorrhoid-ravaged downstairs, such that when you can sweep your hand gracefully down from the third position, through the
second until the, arf, preparatory position where your graceful fingers, either endolloped with Preparation H or lightly clutching the required suppository, can flow elegantly right up or around your anus as appropriate, minimising waste and misdeployment.
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The squat-happy French might choose to implement a parallel bathroom device using mirrored floor tiles. |
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Also, for the elderly, a Stannah motorised barre might be employed to gently raise otherwise stiff and puffy limbs for the facilitation of considered anal self-examination. |
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Mightn't this idea, along with chocolate snack theft, cappuccino preparation accreditation programmes and mispronounced grizzly-creature communication schemes only work to diminish the exclusivity of the qualificationary niche that previously only those wishing to join the judiciary might normally occupy? |
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The achievement of "taking the bar" is thus democratised (at least to those wishing to study their own bottoms) |
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[edit - much later] Having heard something on the radio this morning, I learnt that I could have also added the makers of Irn Bru to my previous list. |
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Did you know that "Anal Skew" is an anagram? |
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What out for c sharp in the third movement! |
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Caution! Objects in the mirror appear closer. |
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Alas, there are no Ballet Schools specific to Chalfont St Giles. |
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