Gubstopper

I remember a sweet we used to get when we were children called a Gobstopper. It was a large hard ball, which filled the mouth, but gradually reduced in size as you sucked on its sugary substance (now you why my teeth are 80% amalgam fillings)

The idea of the newest version of this evil item of confectionary, is that instead of reducing in size, it actually gets larger. (but only for about half an hour, then it gets smaller) It does this because of its very tasty but harmless chemical coating, which swells up in contact with an enzyme contained in human saliva.

The net effect of this is, that once it swells to its limit, it cannot be take out, as it more or less fills the mouth of an average child. This results in preventing the otherwise noisy child from engaging in further conversation. ie their gub has been stopped.

Gubstopper is also on the end of a stick, so that a creative child can swivel the stick around using their tongue, and point to things, instead of chattering incessantly.

Delux version has a length of chain attached to end of stick, so that mumbling child can be led around on a leash.