h a l f b a k e r yGo ahead. Stick a fork in it.
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After any meaty meal, save the gristle from your steak and collect over a 2 - 3 week period. Present a hamper filled with gristle to a bored member of your family accompanied by the latest book called 'Gristle Factory'.
Within it's pages you will find hundreds of craft ideas that can be made entirely
out of discarded animal fat.
- Dolls for the children with bacon rinds for hair.
- Reading glass frames for Grandpa made entirely from t-bone steak gristle.
- Delightful slippers that are not only comfortable but make an interesting squelching sound as Aunty Pat wanders through the nursing home.
When not in use all gristle products should be stored away from pets in an air tight container to ensure ongoing enjoyment.
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Then there are those of us with Scots genes who consume as much of the beastie as we have paid for - gristle, skin, all the gunk from inside prawn heads... |
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Those poor, wee, cowr'n timerous beasties,
Ne wonder a panic lies w'in their breasties.
They need ta start awa sae hasty,
Wi' bickering brattle,
The deep-fat fryer's aboot it's crackle!
They divven knaa, noor hay t'function,
Tha' a Scott would chew them wi'an onion,
Oor garnish wi' a jalapeno.
They shou' be startled!
An' run, thy poor, earth-born brothers,
Awain the nicht, a Scott hunger's!
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see "Throbbing Gristle" under eighties music... could
there be a Gristle Hammock and can I order one up? xz |
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This opens the possibility for a new line of plush toys: Gristley Bears. |
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when Unabubba says these words, strange things soon occur |
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