h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Griddlesticks
a grill for your barbecue that fits in your dishwasher | |
A selection of shiny-barbecue-grill-like rods of various lengths, plus fatter 'rails' with a line of holes right through, just large enough to accommodate the aforementioned rods.
The barbecue owner selects (pays for) rods and rails to suit his barbecue, and by inserting the rods through the rails'
holes, he makes himself a new grill. I suppose the holes in the rails would be approximately one sausage-radius apart.
Once complete, the new grill is placed over the fire-holding part, and the heat of the fire-holding part causes the rods to swell tight into the rails', taking advantage of the different heat-expansion properties of the two parts' well-chosen materials (did I not mention that?) thus creating a fine and secure surface for cooking.
Once cold, the rods and rails can be pulled apart again and laid in your dishwasher, to circumvent all that scrubbing arse-ache.
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You're only selling this thing to men? |
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My sincere apologies if you are offended by my using 'he' and 'his' throughout. I don't pretend to be a master of the language, and I am not aware of a good alternative. What would you prefer me to write? |
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Perhaps you would prefer me to write he/she everywhere, like on a tax return or hospital appointment card? I am not honestly sure if he/she covers everybody? I certainly wouldn't want to offend any hermaphrodites, or those people who are between sexes, or simply undecided. |
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Perhaps it would be easier if readers of writing would just accept either 'he' or 'she' in a given piece of writing as a convenient shorthand that we all understand. Maybe then more of their time and anger could be focused on the more significant consequences of sexual discrimination, and not on whether or not women are excluded from the purchase of mythical barbecue parts. |
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Just use singular "they". It takes getting used to after a lifetime of "he", but is very consistent and flexible once it sinks in, as well as widely used by now - to the point of making gender bias like yours stand out as archaic and discriminatory, whether you're conscious of it or not. |
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Well, point taken. 'They' does indeed fit the bill, but we're not writing technical manuals, we're writing to entertain one another! |
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I am new to the halfbakery, but I signed up because it's funny, not because I expect to see a terrific invention here presented. |
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I certainly don't want to offend anyone, but I didn't write 'he' because of a lifetime lived as a 'he', nor because of an unconcious accident. I wrote 'he' because I liked the image of a lazy man, looking forward to eating burgers, but not to maintaining his barbecue. Please don't take offence - it's not my patent application, it's just a little story. |
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I had hoped people might laugh - look what's happened instead! I have a fishbone, and I don't think it's a terrible idea! |
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Can we all still be friends? |
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Welcome [theNakedApiarist] |
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yes, welcome and just toss the fishbone on the grill...
I use the word "one" instead of he/she/they and besides that, I just scrub the grill with a wire brush whilst it sits there on the barbeque. |
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You'll soon find that bones and buns come in unexpected degrees. I suppose you also realize now that the english language is rife with peculiarities, made worse by the abundance of peculiar pedantry on the halfbakery. |
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I try to frame my ideas around "I," "You," or a purposefully awkwardly defined "Idea userperson." You can also try writing in the passive voice. "The device was used to do this and that." Occasionally sticking characters in to discuss the merits of the new idea work as well. |
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I'm not a fan of the singular "They," They just isn't grammatically correct, and I'm sure one can see that them they's aren't necessary for one to write a gender neutral idea. |
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Well, gender neutral or not, a barbecue that can really be cleaned is a good idea. |
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I'm not betting on the metal differences being easy to solve, but a more complex and impractical, and therefore more appealing approach could probably be found. |
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Something like tinkertoys or lego. |
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I'll take one when they hit the marketplace. |
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People who eat barbequed meat care about cleanliness? That's a surprise. I thought the more charred and icky it was, the better. (You know, you eat it with your hands, make loud smacks and grunts, play heavy-metal music---a tribal kind of thing...?) |
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You don't "Clean!" the grill, tsh, that's where you get all the flavour. |
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That's what I meant. Just scrub off the pine needles and some yucky chunks of black tar. |
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I'm not a fan of the idea that grills should be gunky. If these were made of cast iron, I would buy them. + |
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