h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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A sombrero-style hat with a lightweight birdcage atop. Inside
are a pair of gnatcatchers on a perch. The gnatcatchers work
together ridding the immediate vicinity of gnats while the hat
wearer labors ceaselessly behind a lawnmower.
Ahem
Bat_20in_20the_20Hat
[21 Quest, Jul 16 2016]
and
Frog_20Hat
[FlyingToaster, Jul 16 2016]
[link]
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Oh, currently about two weeks worth. |
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We recommended at least 15 metres for the man-portable backpack lawnmowers; and try to stay upwind as much as possible. |
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With vehicle-mounted lawnmowers, it's actually possible to get closer, because the armour provides protection from the heat, and modern armoured vehicles have closed-circuit air handling to protect against fumes and combustion products. But they're unsuitable for most gardens. |
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It's possible to deploy lawnmowing devices from aircraft, but again the targeting isn't that precise and can lead to a lot of collateral damage and adverse publicity. |
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// what sort of device are they? // |
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A gnatcatcher is a type of wren, i.e. a tiny bird, that dines on
gnats. Gnats fly in a holding pattern above the head of a
person outdoors before making suicide runs at the ears, nose
or eyes. Upon death, replacement gnats take their place. This
takes the joy out of mowing the lawn, a task that had little
joy to begin with. |
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Bats [link] operate at night and frogs [link] must be kept wet. |
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// This takes the joy out of mowing the lawn, a task that had little joy to begin with. // |
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Who could possibly not enjoy squirting a flaming jet of liquid hydrocarbons onto grass, and watching it frazzle ? |
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