h a l f b a k e r yNot the Happy Cuddle Club.
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For those of us who work in an office with a person who is (a) terminally boring, (b) intent on proving they are worth more time/money/attention etc. etc. than you, (c) full of stories of their own prowess or (d) your boss.
Contact lenses. I've seen ones that make you look like you've got cat's
eyes, or red eyes, or no white in your eyes, but here I'm going a little further. Nanotechnology sort of thing.
What I want to see is photo-electrochemical cells, each a few microns across, made into contact lenses. I want a hand held switch that stimulates an electrical impulse hidden behind my ear or under my fringe or something, that makes all these photochemical cells turn opaque - so my eyes glaze over. I expect this will be most disturbing and off-putting for whichever waste of space is talking to me at the time.
In the future, I may be able to combine this with faked sleep so that first my eyes can glaze over and then a short time later, I can safely collapse to the floor and be brought back to consciousness by the Diet Coke man.
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Or full-time glazed that unglaze only while you find someone interesting. Howabout a 'frosty stare' version? |
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now I'm scared. UB are you actually my boss in disguise and you're hinting that I should be getting on with work? Well here's the deal. It's Saturday afternoon and I'm dealing with a super-naff spreadsheet instead of down the pub watching England thrash France. Snif. (automatic tear-generating contact lenses if I ever run into you, then). |
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Change the subject to something they aren't interested in, AT ALL-every time. Works for me. |
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Just pick up some glazed eyes at the local doughnut shop(pe). |
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this may also be a case of glaucoma.... glazed eyes...very disconcerting... i think I'll go hang out the doughnut shop(pe) instead |
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I believe it was Evelyn Waugh who in later years went deaf and had an ear trumpet. He would very ostentatiously put it down when he couldn't take anymore. |
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My Dad is a lecturer. I learned at an early age to shut the
door and walk away. In work-related situations, I would
turn back to what you were doing, and continue doing it,
periodically adding a grunt of recognition. Although rude,
it works. :) |
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I like the dynamic contacts idea. It's cool but I'd hate to wear contacts. My method is to just say, "You are losing me because my mind is on other things. Let's talk about this another time." |
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